


Songbird

by lilyofthevallies



Series: Songbird [3]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Season 3 MY WAY
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyofthevallies/pseuds/lilyofthevallies
Summary: Season 3 goes a little differently.
Relationships: Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano
Series: Songbird [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831990
Comments: 39
Kudos: 71





	1. Perhaps More Than Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory returns home from Washington, and finds things are very different than how she left them.

_**I feel that when I'm with you** _

_**It's all right, I know it's right** _

_-Eva Cassidy, "Songbird"_

“Hey, Gilmore!”

Rory stands in the airport, feeling very lost and out of place as she searches for her mother. Her head snaps up when she hears Lorelai’s high pitched yell, a wide smile cracking over her face.

“Mom!”

They run towards each other, squealing a little, and hug with such a force they drop to the floor. “Luckily, there are video camera everywhere that caught that very graceful moment on tape,” Lorelai says, sitting upright.

“I’m so glad to see you!” Rory exclaims. 

“No! I’m glad to see you!”

“I’m never leaving home again.”

“Oh, that’s my emotionally stunted girl! Hey, I got you gifts,” Lorelai says, reaching to grab something out of a paper gift bag.

“What?” Rory says. “I’m the one that left town, I’m supposed to get you gifts.”

“Oh, but I got here early and there was nothing to do except feed gummy bears to the

bomb-sniffing dogs- which, apparently the United States government frowns upon,” Lorelai shrugs.

“You got in trouble with the government while you were waiting for me?”

“Just a little.”

“How much is a little?”

“Learn Russian. Okay, here you go,” Lorelai says, changing the subject, handing her something.

“Wow,” Rory draws out. “A ‘Hartford, Connecticut’ sweatshirt.”

“Nice, huh?”

“‘Hartford, Connecticut’ notebook, ‘Hartford, Connecticut’ pencil set, ‘Hartford, Connecticut’ shot glass-”

“And beer mug!”

“-‘Hartford’ baguette, ‘Hartford’ bear, ‘Hartford’ sunglasses.”

“You like?”

“I love.”

“Alright, let’s go, we’ll get your bags, and then we’ll hit the road, and then I can’t wait to hear all about Washington,” Lorelai says. “And, by the way, I got you out of dinner with the Gilmores tonight. Thought you might like a night back home to wind down, rather than face the wardens.”

“What’d you tell them?”

“That you get home tomorrow.”

“Big fat lie!”

“Yes, which proves how much I love you!” Lorelai says as they get up off the airport floor. “The fact that I’m willing to lie to my own parents, who I _never_ lie to, just so you could have a night of happiness and relaxation is proof positive of my deep, undying devotion that I have for you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“And all that devotion could be yours for the low, low price of twenty-nine ninety-five!”

“Forget it.”

“Okay, I’ll throw in a set of steak knives.”

“My bags, please?”

“Are you telling me you want this gesture of love for free? What kind of world are you living in?” Lorelai continues as they walk to baggage claim.

-

“See? Three minutes faster,” Lorelai says as the two of them emerge from the trees. “I also found a way to get from Al’s Pancake World that shaves a good forty seconds off our normal route.” 

“You were really bored while I was gone, weren’t you?” Rory asks, now in a brown and pink dress and sandaled heels (the same dress her mother had lightly teased her over. The same dress that she convinced herself was for everyone, and not just one set of eyes.)

“You have no idea,” Lorelai answers as they head up Sookie and Jackson’s front steps.

“Are you crazy?” Jackson yells from inside the house. “Have you lost your mind?”

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset!” Sookie exclaims.

“ _How_ can you not understand!” Jackson replies. “I’ve told you a thousand times!”

“I thought you were just being nice!”

“Nice? Sookie, look at this place!”

“Oh, jeez,” Lorelai says softly as they poke their heads through the front entryway.

“I think it looks nice!” Sookie says.

“Nice! This is nice. _This_ is nice?!” Jackson says pointing to a large bear statue in the corner of the room.

“Well, it’s masculine,” Sookie defends.

“No, it’s terrifying!” Jackson yells. “I swear I’m gonna come out in the middle of the night for a drink of water, turn around, hit the floor and play dead!”

“Okay, so we have a little work to do!”

“Just put it back the way it was,” Jackson says. 

“No, I want you to be happy!” Sookie yells.

“I _was_ happy! I said I was happy! I told you I was happy!” Jackson yells back. Lorelai gestures for Rory to step back, and shuts the door softly.

“We’ll just check on them a little later,” Lorelai says once they’re back on the sidewalk.

“Excellent idea.” They walk into the town square, where a barber shop choir is singing Nat King Cole’s _Those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer_.

“Okay, so… do we do cheese stick, hotdog, cotton candy _or_ do we mix it up- start with the cotton candy and end with the cheese sticks?” Rory doesn’t answer, distracted with looking around the festival. “Who are you looking for?”

“No one,” Rory says, turning to her mother. _Liar_. “I’m just taking in all the madness, that’s all.”

“Ah,” Lorelai says. “Is it-”

“Lorelai,” Kirk cuts off, “Good. Have you used the cream yet?” he asks, referring to the bottles he gave her earlier.

“Uh, not yet, Kirk.”

“Good. There’s been a little problem.”

“What kind of problem?”

“Nothing of major concern. It just seems that with continual use, the cream develops some weird reaction to light. And air. And movement,” Kirk says, grimacing.

“Are you serious?”

“Don’t worry, it’s just a small kink, it’ll all be worked out soon.”

“I have three cases of that stuff sitting at the inn!” Lorelai exclaims.

“Well, get rid of it,” he says quickly, walking away in the other direction.

“Kirk!”

“Uh, but don’t throw it in the trash, apparently that would be an EPA violation.”

“What am I supposed to do with the stuff?”

“Shooting it into space is about all I got now,” Kirk replies.

“Kirk.”

“I’ll pick up the cases tomorrow,” he says, hurrying off.

“Thank you!” Lorelai mumbles, letting out a sigh. “Hey,” she says, turning to Rory.

“What?”

“Do you sometimes think this town is weird, or is- is it just me?”

Rory doesn’t answer, so Lorelai leads them past the gazebo. “Hey Taylor, is this where the mosh pit starts?” Lorelai asks. 

“Oh, hello Lorelai, Rory. So what do you think of the band? Pretty big-city, don’t you think?”

“Uh-huh, I sure do,” Lorelai says sarcastically.

“What?” Taylor asks, rolling his eyes.

“What? I’m agreeing with you. They are _smokin’_.”

“I do not care for that sarcastic tone, Lorelai.”

“No, no, I’m being nice to you,” Lorelai replies. 

Rory crosses her arms, looking around anxiously, not admitting to herself what she was searching for until she turns and finds it.

Pushed up against a tree.

Attached to a blonde by the face.

“What?” Lorelai asks, now rid of Taylor. Rory points to Jess. “Oh. Well, it looks like he’s got his ‘What I Did This Summer’ essay all researched and ready to go. I guess you dodged a bullet there, huh?” she says. Rory had explained in more detail over the phone to her mother about her breakup with Dean, but had purposefully left out Jess, except for when she had to steer the conversation away from him when her mother accused her of having feelings for him.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Just seems kind of lucky that you didn’t pour your heart out to him, when you see-” Lorelai explains, gesturing to the two of them, still pressed up against the tree.

“See what? What am I seeing?”

Lorelai’s smile fades. “You’re upset.”

“No. I’m not upset.”

“Yes, you are upset, I know when you’re upset because you look like my mother.”

“Thanks a lot!”

“You like my mother!”

“Yes, but _you_ don’t like your mother, so when you tell me that you look like your mother it’s not exactly a compliment.”

“Honey, what is wrong?” Lorelai asks.

“Oh, God!”

“What is it?”

“It’s _that_.” she says, gesturing vaguely.

“Jess?” 

“Yes!”

“You’re upset about Jess?”

“I said yes.”

“Yes, it’s Jess?”

“You’re not being funny.”

“It’s not my fault that ‘yes’ and ‘Jess’ rhyme. Did I exploit the opportunity, of course I did, but… Rory, come on!” Lorelai exclaims as Rory turns to walk away. “I know you had this crush -”

“It wasn’t a crush!”

“Well, I thought it was over! I mean you haven’t talked to him since-”

“Sookie’s wedding.”

Lorelai stops. “You talked to him at Sookie’s wedding?”

“Yes.”

“He wasn’t at Sookie’s wedding!”

“He was, he had just come back and he came to see me.”

“Okay, so he _crashed_ Sookie’s wedding, and?”

“And nothing! He told me he was back in town, that he moved back, and…”

“What, Rory, come on.”

“And we kissed, okay?”

“You kissed?” Lorelai repeats, surprised.

“Yes.”

“You kissed like, ya _kissed_?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, who kissed who?”

“What does that matter?” Rory says. _Everything, really._

“Because, it matters! Did he kiss you, did you kiss each other, did you trip and your faces accidentally-”

“I kissed him!”

“Okay.”

“And, I don’t know, I thought he came back here because he liked me or something, and I kissed him, and he kissed me back, and now he’s over there, and I feel so stupid! And that girl isn’t even his type.”

“Rory, what are you doing?”

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m ranting. You should recognize this, I learned it from you.”

“Yeah, but you went to Sookie’s wedding with Dean!”

“I know.”

“And then you ran off to have some thing with Jess!”

“It was a kiss. It was not a _thing_ ,” Rory huffs. “And then I broke up with Dean!”

“A kiss is a thing.”

“Well, it wasn’t planned, it just happened.”

“Okay, so you had an unplanned kiss, and then you broke up with Dean. Does Jess know this?”

Rory pauses. “No,” she finally said, softly.

“Oh, honey,” Lorelai says. “Why not?”

“It’s not like I didn’t try!” Rory huffs. “I tried to write this _stupid_ letter all summer long, and I couldn’t even manage to send it until a few days ago, and I basically _did_ pour my heart out!”

“Well clearly he didn’t get it.”

“You don’t know. Maybe he did!” Rory exclaims, arms flailing. Then, realizing how ridiculous her outburst must have looked, caves back in on herself and lowers her voice. She feels silly and immature getting so worked up about this. “Maybe he did, and he didn’t care, and knows and I’ll have to avoid him for the rest of my life here, and-”

“Woah, slow down before you start to hyperventilate,” Lorelai says, placing her hand on Rory’s arm. “Maybe he did get it, but again, maybe he didn’t. If he did, I don’t think he would be there with that girl,” she says. Rory opens her mouth to protest, but Lorelai continues on. “And if worst comes to worse, you will not have to hide from him in your own town. I’ll drive him out myself.”

Rory looks up. “How?”

“I have my ways,” Lorelai says. “I’m going to drop it now, but I really do think you should at least try to seek him out and talk to him. God knows my opinion of him, but if this is what you want, what you _really_ are _sure_ you want, then I will support you.” Rory is able to muster a smile at that. “With only a few protests," she adds, and Rory rolls her eyes. "Now let’s go find some cotton candy- I’m feeling spunky.”

-

Rory did not seek him out and talk to him.

She can’t even say she just was never presented an opportunity- her mother made up with Luke, so the diner was free for their use once again. And anyways, there weren’t exactly an abundance of places to hide in Stars Hollow, so she saw him often without ever really meaning to.

Tonight, for instance, as she’s standing in the grocery store alone because Kirk has tracked down her mother. Her head is still buzzing from the disastrous dinner she just endured, complete with a major blowup with none other than her father, and she is turning into the aisle before realizing that he’s there. She stops, tries to back up, but it’s too late, he’s already noticed her.

“Doing a little shopping?” he asks. The question is innocent enough, but his tone is bitter.

“Yes. Excuse me.”

He crosses his arm out in front of her to put a can back on the shelf but doesn’t move pull it back, blocking her from stepping forward. “Why the cold shoulder?”

“No cold shoulder. I just have perishables here,” Rory says, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Oh, yeah, you wanna get home before that Beefaroni goes bad,” he comments, pointing to her basket.

She brushes past him. “My mom’s waiting for me.”

“How was Washington?” he asks, and she takes in a deep breath.

“Fine,” she says, walking away from him, but he continues to follow her across the store.

“Do anything interesting?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.”

“What about you?” she asks, turning to him.

“What about me?”

“Anything interesting happen? This summer, I mean?”

“Nope.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So _nothing_ happened this summer at all?”

Jess looks up, as if he’s trying to remember something. “It was hot, two weeks ago there was a run on sno-cones. Machine broke, people went crazy.” Rory begins to walk away again. “Taylor tried to call in the national guard, but-”

“I’m not talking about sno-cones,” Rory cuts in.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing.”

Silence falls over them, and Rory lets out a sigh. “Her name’s Shane,” Jess says.

“As in ‘come back’?”

“Yep.”

“Well, great. That’s great. Really, it’s great.”

“So I’ve heard.” 

“Well, it is.”

“Are you upset about something?”

“No.”

“I mean, me and Shane.”

“What about you and Shane?”

“I don’t know, it didn’t exactly bring a smile to your face.”

“Well, I’m still freaked out about the sno-cone machine.”

“Okay.”

“I could care less about you and Shane,” she says, trying to convince herself as much as she’s trying to convince him.

“Good.”

“Just surprised me, that’s all.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because of what happened at Sookie’s wedding!”

“Ah.”

“So me coming back here and just seeing you with Shane just kind of threw me for a second,” she exclaims, wondering what the hell is taking her mother so long. 

“I’m sorry. Did I hear from you at all this summer?” Rory doesn’t answer, so he continues on. “Did I just happen to miss the thousands of phone calls you made to me, or did the postman happen to lose all those letters you wrote me?” Rory opens her mouth, but still, he goes on. “You kiss me, you tell me not to say anything- very flattering, by the way. You go off to Washington. Then nothing. Then you come back here all put out because I didn’t just sit around and wait for you like Dean would have done? And what about Dean? Are you still with him? ‘Cause last time I checked, you were, and I haven’t heard anything to the contrary.” At this point, Rory is practically bursting with frustration, but he still won’t let her get a word in. “Did you call me at all?” he suddenly asks, surprising her.

“No.”

“Did you send my a letter?”

“Well-”

“Postcard?”

“No.”

“Smoke signal.”

“Stop.”

“A nice fruit basket.”

“Enough!”

“Are you still with Dean?” And suddenly, despite the fact that she’s been itching to tell him this, she can’t make her mouth move. “Come on Rory, yes or no, are you still with Dean?”

“No!” she bursts. “I’m not still with Dean. No.”

Jess looks taken aback for a moment. “What?” he says finally.

“I suggest you look through whatever stack of mail you have in that apartment because boy, I have some news for you,” Rory says. “I’ll see you later, preferably when we’re both in better moods,” she adds, hurrying to the checkout counter.

Once she’s out of the store, she walks briskly past her mother, who has to jog a little to catch up. 

“Hey, I was just gonna come in after you. You all done?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m done,” she says, adrenaline still pumping through her veins.

-

“Luke!” Jess says once he enters the apartment, making the man in question jump in his chair.

“God, lower the volume,” Luke grumbles. “What is it?”

“Did I get any mail in the past couple of days?”

“I dunno, I haven’t sorted through it all yet. You can check if you want, though, it’s on the kitchen table.”

Jess nods, and sifts through the pile of envelopes. Sure enough, there is one addressed to him, from none other than Ms. Rory Gilmore in Washington, D.C. He sighs, runs his hands through his hair. “I’m gonna go downstairs, just for a sec, I’ll be back up soon,” he tells Luke, who nods in response.

Once downstairs, he slips out the backdoor and into the alleyway behind the diner, one of the few areas where he actually feels like he has privacy, and slowly tears open the envelope to read its contents. His hand shakes a little bit, so he gets a grip before he makes a fool of himself, even to nobody but the dumpster.

_Dear Jess,_   
_First of all, I'm so sorry I left you hanging all summer. I wrote “Dear Jess” the first week I got here, and then I couldn't bring myself to write anything else, no matter how much I wanted to. So again, I am so, so sorry._   
_I guess I should just cut to the chase. I broke up with Dean, right before I left. Like, right before. I went out, found him, came home, and drove to the airport with my mom. I tried to get her to stop at Luke's first, but we were already so late and, well… yeah._   
_It would have been a lot easier to just pretend that the kiss didn't happen. But it did, and I can't pretend it didn't. It wouldn't be fair for either of us, or Dean, for that matter._   
_There was a lot wrong with my relationship with Dean, but none of that mattered until you came to Stars Hollow. You helped me open my eyes to what I was actually living through. And you didn't even really do anything. You just made me realize. So, thanks for that._   
_I still don't know if you feel the same way I do, or if I just saw what I wanted to see. If that's the case, we can pretend this letter was never written (at least we don't go to the same schools)._   
_But if you do feel the way I do, please let me know. I don't even think this letter will get to you before I get home. But either way, I will feel the same way when I land as I do right now, in the coat closet Paris shoved me into (I'll go further into that in person)._   
_I missed you this summer, Jess. It kind of killed me._

_Yours,_   
_Rory_

Well, shit.

-

Rory moves around her bedroom, putting away laundry and tidying up the clutter that had accumulated from the week. XTC is playing from her CD player softly, her mother already upstairs asleep, exhausted from the day. She hears tapping, but ignores it until she hears it again, slightly louder this time. Her blinds are pulled down, so she can’t see out her window until she lifts them up. 

When she does, she’s shocked to see Jess’ face staring back at her. She pushes open her window, whispering, “Jess? What are you doing here?”

“I read your letter,” he says, and then sighs. “And I’m at your window now. I’m sorry, if this is weird, I can go-” he says, throwing his thumb over his shoulder.

“No!” Rory says, a little too quickly. “No, wait, just- gimme a second, wait out on the porch, I’ll be out in a second.” She shuts her window and rushes out of her room, out the front door on her porch where he’s waiting for her. “Hi. Let’s sit,” she says gesturing towards the steps.

They settle next to each other, but keep a reasonable amount of space between them. “So,” Jess says, but doesn’t continue.

“So,” Rory repeats.

“You’re broken up with Dean?”

“Yeah,” Rory says softly. “What about Shane?”

“Didn’t think she’d appreciate me knocking on her door at nine thirty at night just to break up with her,” Jess says, and Rory lets out a breathe of laughter. “But if you come to the diner at around noon, I might be able to give you a different answer.”

Chills run over her body. “I’m sorry I sent it so late.”

“S’okay.”

“And I’m sorry I got so worked up over Shane.”

“Sorry I got so worked up over Dean.”

“We’re even, then.”

“I guess we are,” Jess says. “Why were you in a closet?”

“Paris went on a date.”

“And you needed to get in a closet for that?”

“I don’t know. She was freaking out, didn’t want me to be in the room when she opened the door for him, so she pushed me into the closet.”

“Interesting.”

“Isn’t it?” Once again, silence falls over them, except this time, Rory is the one to break it. “So… what now?”

Jess takes in a deep breath. “Now… I think you should go inside and go to bed, and come see me tomorrow so we can talk,” he says. “Among other things.”

Rory smiles and looks down at her lap, suddenly nervous, before pushing herself up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” As she turns to look him in the eye, the nervousness is suddenly replaced with an almost overwhelming feeling of peace.

“Tomorrow.”

“Bye, Jess.”

“Bye, Rory.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much dialogue used from the show itself, so just a disclaimer: not. Mine. Tweaked a bit of it to fit the plot, and the very end is mine. Reviews are welcomed, and encouraged!!! :)


	2. Dye Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess and Rory begin their relationship.

_**You're somethin' special to me** _

_**Though others think you're not so grand** _

_**I still say you're quite the man** _

_-The Shaggs, "You're Somethin' Special To Me"_

Rory wakes slowly the next morning, staring up at the ceiling, watching the light creep in as the sun makes its ascent into the sky. She was so sure last night that she wouldn’t have been able to get any sleep at all, yet almost as soon as she had laid down, she fell in to a deep, dreamless sleep. 

She putters around the house, trying to eat up the hours until noon, but the time seems to stand still. It’s eleven and she’s already finished her homework for the weekend, and is seriously considering moving the living room around again when Lorelai catches her.

“Hey! This will not be a repeat of last time, missy,” Lorelai says, putting both hands on each of Rory’s shoulders to keep her in place.

“Its nothing like last time,” Rory says, squirming out of her mother’s grasp. “I’m just bored, and I’ve got time to kill.”

“Ugh. Why can’t you be normal and go write ‘Mrs. Mariano’ in your notebook or something?”

“Ha, ha.”

“Well, I’ve got to go. Michael needs me at the inn.”

“What?”

“I said, well, I’ve got to go. Michel-”

“I heard you. But it’s Saturday!”

“People still like to stay at inns on Saturdays.”

Rory glares at her mother, but drops her eyes when she realizes she’s being a bit ridiculous. She doesn’t need her mother to help pass the time, she can find other things to do. 

“Well, don’t die by the hands of an angry french man. I’m going to want to talk to you tonight.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

-

The diner is mostly empty when Rory enters, but since she’s alone she opts for a counter seat instead of her own table. 

“Hey, Rory,” Luke says without looking up. “Coffee?”

“Like you have to ask. Yes, please!”

Luke nods, moving to fill one of the oversized mugs just as Jess comes out of the kitchen, holding a notepad. He doesn’t see her at first, but when he looks up they lock eyes and he steps back for a moment in surprise, eyes wide.

Luke gives him a look. “You good?”

Jess glares at him, but nods as he takes the filled mug of coffee from Luke’s hand, ignoring the protests from the man himself, and places it in front of Rory.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

The bell on the door jangles as a family walks in. “Do you wanna…” Jess says, pointing to the curtain behind him.

“Oh,” Rory says, feeling dumb for not being able to make her mouth speak any words of intelligence. “Sure.”

She clutches her mug and slides off the stool, following him through the curtained doorway and up the rickety set of stairs.

“I’ve only got about ten minutes, tops, until Luke calls me back down,” Jess says, standing a good ten feet away from Rory.

She nods, and puts the coffee cup she’s been holding with a death grip down on the kitchen table.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” he asks, pointing to the fridge.

“Oh, I have…” she trails off, gesturing to the mug.

“Oh. Right,” Jess says, mentally slapping himself.

“Maybe we should get a little closer,” Rory says, taking a single step forward.

“Closer,” Jess repeats, slowly walking towards her. They meet halfway, taking each other’s hands.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I think this is close enough.”

“You’re very smart, mister.”

“Well, gotta keep up with you.”

Rory blushes and lowers her head, then raises it again. “So, what now?” she asks, trying to fill the void with meaningless words.

Jess doesn’t answer, instead kisses her. It’s short, almost chaste, and he pulls away to look her in the eye.

Rory kisses him the second time, a little deeper, moving her hands from his to his back so they wrap around him lightly, and he does the same to her. 

Moving away a little, Jess rests his forehead against hers for a second, letting out a breathy exhale, before opening his eyes and stepping away from her. “We should probably get back downstairs.”

“We should.”

They don’t move, just stare at each other. “Okay, really. Luke is gonna come up for me any second.” Rory nods, and he hands her a random book off the counter.

“What’s this?”

“Luke will ask questions. We came up here so I could give you a book.”

“Are we keeping it a secret from him?”

“No, but I’d rather not sit through a conversation with Luke regarding this, would you?”

“Oh. No,” Rory says, grimacing.

“Yeah. So, shall we?”

They head down the stairs and Luke nearly slams into them. He gives Jess a weird look when Rory rushes out of the diner, flustered, but Jess says nothing.

-

“I need coffee.”

Jess looks up, seeing Rory storm in, still in her Chilton uniform despite it being late in the evening. “Hello to you, too.”

They had seen each other over the course of the week, but only in passing. Breakfast in the mornings, when he pours her and her mother coffee, walking past each other in the street and exchanging a kiss, taking her into the storage room for a minute or two when her mother is not at the diner and kissing her before Luke notices he’s gone. But that had been with other people. “Here,” Jess says, handing her a mug. “It might not be boiling, since the diner’s been closed, but..”

“Oh, my God,” Rory says suddenly, not accepting the coffee cup. He looks at her, confused, and sets it down on the counter. “I’m sorry, I just came in here, and-”

“Rory, what’s going on?”

“I didn’t even _think_ -”

“ _Rory_ ,” he says, and she finally looks up at him. “It’s fine, it’s not like I’m doing much anyway besides wiping counters.”

She sighs, and picks up the mug. “I just… I need to talk to someone- someone that isn’t my mom because I already talked to her, and I didn’t even think about the fact that maybe you wouldn’t be here to talk, or maybe it would be weird for you to talk, or…” she trails off.

“Here I am. And we were friends before, we talked, so why can’t we talk now?”

“Yeah, but we never _talk_ talked. Plus, for starters, you don’t say much anyway. That might be the most I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

“Ha ha. Just talk anyway. What’s wrong?”

Rory bites her lip. “It’s stupid.”

“I bet it’s not.”

She sighs. “I was freaking out because we had this thing after school-”

“Your fancy school sure teaches you a lot of big words.”

“Shut up,” she says, but she smiles for a second despite her efforts not to. “I just- they were talking about admissions, and they were going on about what they don’t want to see, and I just froze because they were describing _me_.”

Jess blinks at her, a little confused. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate.”

“They said that they were sick of essays about Hillary Clinton, and guess who I was going to write mine on? How am I supposed to do this if I can’t even come up with an original essay topic?” She took a giant gulp of coffee and continued. “And, you know who called me in a fluster? Paris! If Paris is worried, how on Earth am I going to do this?”

“Woah, woah, slow down,” Jess says, pushing the coffee cup down to the counter again. 

“I can’t slow down. If anything, I should be speeding up. I need to do more. Oh, wait, did you know that you can have _too_ many activities?”

“Hey, calm down, okay?” Rory looks up at him, eyes a little crazed. “You’re gonna get in-”

“You don’t know that!”

“I _do_ know that. You’ll find a different topic for your essay, you’ll have a hell of an application, and if Harvard knows what’s good for them, they’ll accept you. And if not, they’re just a bunch of jerks.”

Rory giggles at that, and he raises his eyebrows in question. “It’s just… you remind me of my mom sometimes.”

“Get out of this establishment.”

“No, I’m serious. She said that, too.”

“What, that the people at Harvard are jerks?”

“Yes.”

“Well, maybe we just both said that because it’s true.”

“Admit it, you and my mom are very similar.”

“Over my dead body.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Jess smirks at her, and leans over the counter to kiss her. “You’ll get in. I know you will.”

“And what happens to you if I don’t?”

“It’s a surprise.”

The conversation lulls for a moment, until Rory remembers something she had wanted to talk to him about earlier, before this whole mess. “Hey, I have a proposition to make.”

“Go on.”

“Well, Lane’s trying to come up with her biggest inspirations to put on this ad for a band, and she’s having trouble narrowing it down, so I was wondering if you could help her out.”

Jess tenses a little. “I don’t know…”

“Oh, come on! The two of you are some of the most knowledgeable people in the music aspect that I know.”

“How about… how about you give me her list, and I’ll give her my recommendations.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Bring ‘em to me ASAP though, so I can put my full effort into it.”

“Thank you!” Rory says, then looks at the clock on the wall. “Oh, wow, I gotta go.” She leans across the counter and kisses him, longer than she initially intended to. “Okay,” she said, taking in a breath as she pulled back. “I really do have to go.”

“Get outta here,” he says, offering her a smile as he watches her leave.

The next day, she brings him Lane’s ad, and when she comes in Monday morning for breakfast, although he’s already left, Luke hands her a list of bands in Jess’ scratchy handwriting.

-

“So, how was it?” Jess asks into the phone a few days later. Rory went to a Harvard graduates’ house for lunch, and called Jess afterwards. 

“Great. Although it was kind of weird. They were all… very perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Yeah, like 60s-TV-family-perfect, except modern day. Although, there was this one girl in a rabbit costume.”

“A what?” Jess says, and he shifts his weight a little, surprised.

“Yep. She wasn’t into the whole Ivy League thing, so she was working as a mascot.”

“Huh.”

“She had a giant carrot and everything, too.”

“Interesting. So, you feel better then?”

“Yes. So much better. I can breathe again!”

“I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

“You know, I’m gonna let that ‘I told you so’ go this time because it ended up being a positive outcome, but just know that you are on very thin ice, mister.”

“Noted.”

“Oh, Jess, I gotta go. I’ll probably be in for breakfast tomorrow, though,” Rory says. “Sorry for being so sudden.”

“No biggie. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye.” Jess hangs up and sets the phone down on the kitchen table, grabs his book and sits back in the chair to read. He gets through all of three pages before Luke comes crashing through the door.

“Got something you’d like to tell me?”

“Nothing off the top of my head.”

“Oh, so you’re not dating Rory?”

“Oh, that.”

“Jess, what are you doing?”

“Well, I was getting into this book, but right now that’s being put on pause.”

“I’m being serious.”

“Why are you so concerned?”

“You know why.”

“No, please, tell me. You were fine with Shane.”

“Shane’s not Rory.”

“Oh, man, are you sure? That might cause a problem…”

“Jess, be serious.”

“What exactly do you think is going to happen, Luke?”

“You know what I think is going to happen.”

“No, please. What exactly am I going to do to her?” Luke doesn’t answer, so Jess continues, standing up. “What, do you think I’m gonna hurt her on purpose? Because it’s in my DNA, so it wouldn’t be much of a shocker, would it?”

“Jess-”

“I’m not,” Jess says, a little loud, then lowers his voice. “I’m not going to do that. I don’t want to do that.”

Luke sighs. “I know. I know you don’t want to do that.”

They stand there for a few seconds, letting the silence bring both of their frustration levels back down. “Why’d you keep it from me?” Luke finally asks.

“I didn’t.”

“Well, I just had to hear it from Patty and Babette. How long has it been going on?”

“Only a few days. We weren’t hiding it from you. You just have very selective vision, apparently.”

Luke nods. “Does Lorelai know?”

“I think she knew before I did,” Jess says, running a hand through his hair.

“Okay then,” Luke says. “I’m gonna need you back down in the diner to close up in a little bit.”

“I’ll be down in a few.”

“Thanks.” Luke opens the apartment door, then turns back to Jess. “I- you know I’m protective of her, but I’m protective of you too. If the two of you are happy, so am I,” he says, awkwardly. He’s never been the best at talking about these kinds of things.

Jess nods in gratitude, and Luke leaves down the stairs.

-

“Hey, your boy Jess has got some music taste,” Lane says, sitting down next to Rory and startling her slightly. “Oops, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine, just wasn’t paying attention,” Rory responds, closing her book. “So, you liked his suggestions then?”

“Liked? I _loved_. Not only did he help me narrow it down, but he put some that I hadn’t even considered. I forgot The Shaggs! How could I forget them?”

“Uh, because they’re terrible?”

“Yes, but it’s because they’re so terrible that they are so great,” Lane says. 

“Hey, why don’t we just go back to your house?”

“Mama is still there. I’ll come back once she’s gone,” Lane says. “Okay, I gotta go, but my mother is leaving soon so I’ll be back in a bit and then we can go to my house okay? And here’s Jess now, so you won’t even have to be alone!” she exclaims, shooting up from the bench.

“Oh, okay-” Rory says, turning her head to follow Lane’s figure, then back to Jess who sits down next to her. “Hi,” she smiles.

“Hey. Is she okay?” Jess says, pointing to Lane, who is still running.

“Oh, yeah, just normal Lane and Mama Kim things. Lane’s dying her hair.”

“What?”

Rory takes a box of hair dye out of the bag next to her. “Purple.”

“How is she gonna hide that from Mrs. Kim?”

“She isn’t.”

“Geez,” Jess said, shaking his head. “Where’d she get that idea?”

“I don’t know, but she got herself all worked up a few days ago and dragged me into the beauty supply store, and she still hasn’t chickened out, so I guess she’s going through with it.”

Jess nods, as if there’s something he wants to say, and Rory has an inkling of what it is. “No, I did not rip off Shane’s head,” she says in a teasing tone.

“Well, I’m glad for that. This would be a lot harder if I only got to see you for daily visits at the prison.”

“Ha ha,” Rory says, . “So, Lane loved your suggestions. Especially The Shaggs.”

“They’re so bad they’re good.”

“That’s what she told me,” Rory says enthusiastically. “Personally, I think they just suck, but I have to admit, they are very fun to listen to if you aren’t already in a bad mood.”

“Smart girl,” Jess says, leaning in for a kiss. “So, I saw your mom,” he said when they broke apart.

“Nice to know that’s where your thoughts are right now.”

Jess rolls his eyes. “ _Anyway_. She made Luke get changed into something other than flannel for his speech at the high school today.”

“He owns real clothes?”

“Shocker. I know. And apparently a Jimmy Buffet shirt.”

“What?” Rory says, face twisted in confusion.

“I dunno. I left right after that.”

“Aw, you shoulda stayed so you could tell me more about the Jimmy Buffet shirt.”

“I don’t think there’s much more to say about the Jimmy Buffet shirt.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure my mom made jokes about it, and if you’d stayed, you would have been able to hear them and tell them to me.”

“She’ll probably just tell you them all later anyway!”

“Yes, but you could have told me now, and what use do I have of you if you can’t provide me that?” Rory says, a smile on her face. Jess kisses her again, deeper this time, and she pulls away only for the fact that they are on a bench in the middle of the town. “Well, I guess that’s a perk, too,” she says, almost whispering.

“Nice to know you’re only using me for my body and my joke trafficking abilities. I’m a mule now, I guess,” Jess says, teasing her.

Rory opens her mouth to reply, but jumps when she feels a set of hands on her shoulders. 

“Rory, we gotta go, Mama just left. Up, up, up!” Lane says, practically bouncing. “Hi Jess, bye Jess,” she says, grabbing Rory’s hand and pulling her up and around the bench.

“Geez, let me at least grab the bag of hair dye,” Rory says, and Jess hands it to her over the bench seat. “I’ll see you later, okay?” she says to Jess, who nods and waves a goodbye as Rory is dragged to Kim’s Antiques.

-

“Rory, Dave and I are professionals,” Lane says as Rory paints hair dye onto her now bleached hair. Just a short time before, there had been a slight freak out involving scalps burning and a lack of fresh air, but that had smoothed itself over, and the conversation took a lighter turn.

“I know,” Rory says teasingly.

“Plus, the rock-n-roll highway is littered with casualties of band members who have dated and broken the band apart.”

“That’s a sensible attitude.”

“Very sensible, very sensible. Dave and I are very sensible people.” Lane falls quiet for a second, and Rory waits for what she knows is coming. “I’m in love with him.”

“I know!” Rory smiles.

“Is it that obvious?” Lane says, smiling too. 

“Only to a guy with sunglasses and a dog selling pencils.”

“He’s so cute,” Lane continues. 

“Definitely cute.”

“And smart, you know, that’s such a rare package. It’s usually one or the other.”

“It’s wrong, but that’s the way it usually is.”

“It just increases the amount of competition for the Daves of the world.”

“You’re rare, too, don’t forget.”

“I’ve never really felt this way before. I mean Henry, yes, but we never spent any real time together. It’s not just puppy love, you know, it’s different. I mean, I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about him, and when I call him to work out times for band practice, the _ring_ of his telephone gets me really excited. And last week, someone said ‘Dave’ at school, it wasn’t even about my Dave, and I almost lost it, I got so shaky.”

“‘My Dave,’ that’s so cute,” Rory coos.

“Stop it.”

“This sounds like love to me.”

“It does, doesn’t it? My first love. Wow.”

“Yeah, wow!”

“I finally have a first love, like what you and Dean had-” Lane cuts off, realizing her mistake. 

“Right,” Rory says, smile faltering.

“Oh, wait, Rory, I’m so sorry,” Lane says, turning to look at her.

“It’s fine, I just…” Rory trails off, taking the dye to the counter. “Look, you’ll have a good first love, and second love, and whatever other love you want because you’re great, and purple heads will not be denied!” Rory says, forcing a smile.

“Well, what about you and Jess?”

“What about me and Jess?”

“Do you love him?”

“Lane, I’ve barely been with him for two weeks.”

“I’ve only talked to Dave a handful of times!”

Rory mixes the dye, trying to figure out how to word what she’s about to say. “Look, Lane, you know how you feel right from the get go, and that’s great for you, but I…” Rory trails off, trying to group her thoughts. “Sometimes I wonder if I said I loved Dean because I really did, or because I thought I had to.”

“Wait, you don’t know if you loved Dean?”

“No, I loved him afterwards, but when he came to my school out of nowhere and he was about to leave I just… panicked and said it and I don’t know I really meant it then. I know I loved him later, but…”

“You don’t want to talk about it until you know for sure?”

“Yeah,” Rory says, then shifts uncomfortably. “I mean, there was one time in my room over the summer with Paris where I was awake in the middle of the night and I was being kind of dramatic because I was frustrated over this letter that I couldn’t manage to write, and-”

“So, do you love him?”

Rory sighs. “No, not yet, but… I think I could. I don’t know. If further down the road- and I mean much further, so don’t hold your breath- I find that I do, you’ll be the first to know,” Rory says, smiling. “Er, maybe second or third, actually.”

“Yeah, Lorelai and the man himself,” Lane says, nodding.

“It does feel nice, though, I have to say that. I don’t feel guilty around Jess, and I never even really see Dean anymore, but I had the whole summer to get over him so it doesn't really even matter anymore. It just feels like this giant weight lifted off my chest,” Rory says, smiling despite feeling a little silly talking about her feelings. “And I mean, if we’re gonna go totally middle school here, I do really like him, so there’s that.

“Awww,” Lane draws out, bouncing a bit in the chair.

“Hold still! I cannot dye your hair if you keep moving your head around,” Rory chastises, swatting at Lane’s shoulder.

-

“Hey,” Jess says later, Rory sliding into a counter stool. “How’d the hair dying go?”

“Poorly. Lane made me go out and get black hair dye to cover it up. But, it happened, and we have a photo, store receipts, and two bleach stained shirts to prove it.”

“Huh.”

“And, technically, her hair is dyed.”

“Wild child.”

“For a Kim, she is.”

“And I’m guessing none of those mementos are actually with Lane?”

“I have them all in my room.”

“Ah.”

“So, where’s your mom?”

“At Al’s Pancake World. Actually, I’m just here for coffee, so chop chop, diner boy.”

“You’re so cruel to me,” Jess pouts, but moves to get out two to go cups. “So, I heard your mother had an interesting speech today.”

“Oh, yeah, she was complaining to me about it just a few minutes ago. Apparently it was really good for like, one minute, and then all the girls started asking her about getting pregnant at sixteen, and the mom’s got really upset with her.”

“Not her fault that the girls were curious.”

“That’s what I think, too. What was she supposed to do with everyone asking her?”

“And apparently, Luke ended up doing really well.”

“I know! Today is weird. Lane Kim dyed her hair and Luke Danes excelled at public speaking.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” Jess says, pouring coffee into the cups and pushing on the lids. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” she says, reaching for the cups. “Kiss,” she says, leaning in. “And goodbye.”

“See ya,” Jess says, smiling softly as he watches her walk out of the diner, before fixing his mouth back into his normal straight face and moving to take more orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, just a disclaimer, I borrowed some dialogue and plot from actual Gilmore girls episodes. My own tweaks are mine, but I don't own the things I took from the show (duh). All reviews are welcome (and encouraged!!!). Also, I've created a Spotify playlist for this fic (as well as the songs that were used for the two one-shots before this) that I will continue to add to: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DXfZ2cpWQ6FRGyyFjHK4F


	3. Celebrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess and Rory celebrate two occasions, and Rory tries to reassure Jess.

_**I'll take the good times; I'll take the bad times** _

_**I'll take you just the way you are** _

_-Billy Joel, "Just The Way You Are"_

“We should do something this weekend,” Rory says on a Monday afternoon in the diner, sitting at a table with Jess.

“We should?”

“Yes, and I’m the birthday girl, so you have to say yes.”

“Your birthday’s tomorrow.”

“It’s my birthday eve!”

“Your mother is not here to back you up, therefore: I don’t care.”

“Hmph.”

“Oh, real mature.”

“You said it, it’s not my birthday yet. I’m not eighteen. I’m still a child.”

Jess rolls his eyes, and swallows his food. “Okay, what do you want to do?”

Rory smiles. “Yay! We should go see a movie.”

“We already do that.”

“Yes, but we’ve never actually gone _out_ to see one. We should go to the movie theater.”

“The movie theater is just the bookstore with couches set out!”

“It’s cozy!”

“It’s insane.”

“Please?” Rory asks, leaning in to kiss him.

Jess sighs. “You know, this isn’t fair. Fine, yes, we will go see whatever movie is playing this Saturday night, okay?”

“Well, you don’t have to sound so excited about it.”

“Oh, baby, I just can’t _wait_ -” Jess says in an overly cheery voice, until Rory presses her finger to his lips, cutting him off.

“Shut up. This will be fun!”

“Don’t hog the couch.”

“How could you accuse me of such a thing?”

“Because you did it the last time we watched a movie together.”

“That was also the first time we watched a movie together. It could have been a one time thing. You don’t know.”

“And was it? A one time thing, I mean.”

Rory is silent for a second too long. “No comment,” she finally says.

“The truth comes out.”

“I said no comment!”

“Which spoke volumes, didn’t it?”

“I’m using this last day of youth to be as immature as I want, so once again, I say, ‘hmph’!” Rory says, taking a sip from her coffee cup. “You know, it’s actually a good day to do it. I missed your birthday because it was before we got together, so we can use it to celebrate both of birthdays. And, plus, our one month anniversary is coming up soon-”

“On the twelfth.”

“You remembered?”

“Yep,” he says, dipping a fry into ketchup. She doesn’t say anything and he notices, because he looks up at her. “What? I’m good with dates!”

“That’s nice to hear,” she says, smiling, feeling butterflies in her stomach. 

“It’s the bare minimum,” he points out.

“It’s still nice.”

  
“Yeah, yeah.”

-

“Good morning, birthday girl,” Lorelai says at exactly four-oh-three in the morning. Rory mumbled incoherently in response. “You know, it was this day, many moons ago…” Lorelai starts, diving into her well rehearsed birth reenactment speech. 

“So, you want anything?” she asks once she’s wrapped her story up.

“Sleep,” Rory grumbles.

“Oh, come on! How did that not wake you up? Come on, you’re the birthday girl, you can have anything you want!”

“And as the birthday girl, I say: I want sleep,” Rory says, chucking a pillow at Lorelai.

“Hmph. Last time I go through hours and _hours_ of excruciating pain-”

“I have more pillows!”

“Fine. Be that way,” Lorelai says, before planting a kiss on Rory’s forehead. “Happy birthday, baby.”

“Thanks, Mommy,” Rory says, already falling back to sleep.

-

“Good morning, birthday girl,” Luke says, pouring coffee into two mugs at Rory and Lorelai’s table.

“Hey, that’s my line!” Lorelai exclaims, grabbing the mug.

“I don’t think it’s _your_ line,” Luke says.

“Luke, I’m begging you, just drop it before she repeats the whole story again in front of the whole diner,” Rory pleads.

“What story?”

“Luke, I’m begging!”

“Okay, okay, dropped. Wack jobs.”

“Thank you very much, sir,” Lorelai says to Luke’s retreating body, then faces Rory. “Party pooper.”

“Bleck,” Rory responds.

“Hey, one day when you have kids of your own, you will totally understand.”

“Maybe, but it’s not one day, it’s right now, so, I repeat: bleck,” Rory says, shuddering. She looks up to see Jess coming towards her, and her face brightens a little. “Hey!”

“Good morning,” he says, and Lorelai’s mouth widens in a grin.

“Say birthday girl!”

“Do not do that,” Rory says, giving her mother a stern look. Jess raises one eye brow in confusion. “Don’t ask, it’s better that way.”

“Okay,” he says, rolling his eyes a bit. “Did Luke already take your orders?”

“Yep,” Lorelai says, popping the p. “I could use some more coffee, though.”

“You already have a full mug.”

“I don’t see the point of pointing that out.”

“Ask Luke instead.”

“Hey, jerk! You know he won’t give it to me.”

“Well, neither will I,” Jess says. “Can I borrow Rory for a sec?”

“Be my guest. She’s being mean to me today. You two deserve each other,” Lorelai pouts.

“Well, glad you’re so supportive of it,” Rory says, getting out of her seat to follow Jess behind the curtain. She expects him to take her upstairs to the apartment, but instead he pulls her back into the storage room and kisses her hard. “Hi,” she says once they break apart, voice a little breathy and mouth in a splitting grin across her face.

“Hi,” he responds, kissing her again, much lighter this time. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” she says, so softly she’s almost whispering.

“I have something for you,” he says, moving to get something out of his pocket. She stops him, though, by putting her hand on his arm.

“Not until Saturday,” she reminds him.

“No fair.”

“I’m the one who isn’t getting a gift, I should be complaining.”

“It was your idea.”

“Shhh,” Rory whispers, leaning in to kiss him again. “We should go, I want to actually be able to eat my breakfast before I have to leave for school.”

“As you wish.”

-

“Happy birthday, Rory,” Richard says, wrapping his arms around his grandaughter.

“Thank you! I’m so glad you guys could make it,” Rory replies, smiling. 

“This party is definitely smaller than ones before,” Emily comments, looking around the living room. Lane is sitting on the couch talking to Lorelai, somehow having managed convincing Mrs. Kim to let her attend by herself, and Sookie and Jackson are in the kitchen.

“Yeah, I didn’t really want a huge celebration this year,” Rory shrugs.

“Well, I’m honored we made the cut,” Richard says, smiling brightly, and Rory nods. 

“Uh, there’s snacks in the kitchen, if you’re hungry. We’re not really sitting down for dinner, more buffet style,” Rory says, a bit awkwardly.

Richard and Emily hand their coats and go into the kitchen, and Rory hears another knock at the door.

“Paris! I’m so glad you could come.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Gilmore, you’re just lucky I finished studying early,” Paris retorts, but there’s a smile on her face anyway. “Here, I got you something,” she says, handing Rory a bag.

“Oh, Paris you didn’t have to get me anything,” Rory smiles, opening the gift bag. “Woah… this looks old,” she says, taking _Vanity Fair_ out.

“It’s a first edition.”

“What?”

“Relax, you don’t have to feel guilty for whatever reason because I’m sure you’re starting to, I found it for a decent price and we already have it in our library.”

“Wow, Paris,” Rory says, hugging her friend. “Thank you, so much.”

“Remember this next week, because the next Franklin issue will be a _monster_.”

“Noted.”

Paris walks into the kitchen to grab some food, and Rory walks into the living room.

“Was that Paris that just walked in?” Lorelai asks from the couch.

“Oh, yeah, she just went into the kitchen.”

“You left Sookie and Jackson alone with Emily, Richard, _and_ Paris?” Lorelai asks, eyes wide, and Rory grimaces. “I’m gonna go in there to make sure everyone is still breathing.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Rory agrees.

“So, how was the birthday?” Lane asks once Lorelai is out of the room.

“It was great. And thank you so, so much for the CDs, I can’t wait to listen to them.”

“It was no biggie, they were having a two for one sale,” Lane laughs.

“Hey,” a voice says behind Rory, making her jump.

“Gaah!” she says, spinning around and hitting Jess on the shoulder. “When did you get here? I didn’t even hear you come in!”

“Your mom let me in,” he says. “Hi, Lane.”

“Hi. I’m gonna go get some more food. I’m really hungry.”

“She’s very subtle,” Jess mutters, sitting down next to Rory on the couch. “Happy birthday.”

“You already said that earlier,” she tells him, smiling.

“What, is there a limit?”

“Guess not.”

“Good. Happy birthday,” he repeats, putting her hands on her arms and kissing her. “Oh, here.”

“Jess, what do you not understand about ‘Waiting until Saturday’?”

“Ssh. This isn’t really a gift, just a placeholder,” Jess says. Rory looks at the bag, skeptical. “Come on, take it!”

“Fine,” she gives in, taking it from his hand. “You got me candy?”

“Fifty count of each.”

“You are at the very top of my list of ‘Favorite People Ever’ right now.”

“You aren’t very hard to please.”

“I’m not sharing any of this with you, you know.”

“Wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Thank you,” she says, looking up at him.

“Come on, it didn’t even cost me ten dollars.”

“No, I mean, for coming, too. I know you don’t really like group gatherings.”

“No biggie. There’s not that many people here anyway.”

“Okay, well, even if you’re gonna give excuses, I’m thankful anyway,” she says, and suddenly feels very bashful, almost embarrassed.

“C’mere,” Jess says, so quietly she almost can’t hear him, and he slots his mouth in with hers, kissing her, making her stomach do backflips.

“If I could interrupt,” Lorelai says, making Rory jump back and Jess remove his hands from her sides. “We’re doing cake in the kitchen, so I’d get in here.”

Rory looks back at Jess with an embarrassed, almost apologetic smile, then gestures for him to follow her into the kitchen.

He doesn’t sing along to “Happy Birthday,” but he keeps his eyes on her the entire time everyone else is and has a real, genuine smile on his face.

Later, after everyone’s left and Rory is cleaning up the kitchen, Lorelai walks in and asks, “So what possessed Jess today?”

“What?” Rory asks, looking up.

“His smile during the “Happy Birthday Song”. It was freaky.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know… I didn’t know that kid could smile.”

“He smiles a lot more than you seem to think.”

“Yeah, maybe with you.”

“Well, it’s still smiling nonetheless, just because you weren’t there to witness it,” Rory says, sticking her tongue out at Lorelai.

“I dunno it was just… nice, I guess.”

“I guess, yeah.”

“I mean, he just seems… less tired, maybe? You and Luke are good for him.”

Rory stops what she’s doing, looking at Lorelai. “Mom, is Jess growing on you?”

“Woah, woah, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves-”

“Ha!” Rory says, smiling triumphantly. “He’s growing on you. Don’t deny it.”

“He isn’t _growing_ on me. But, I guess he’s not _so_ terrible.”

“Finally, Lorelai Gilmore ends her grudge against a teenage boy.”

“Hey! It was not a grudge!”

“You were two steps away from throwing darts at his picture.”

“Was not!” Lorelai says. “Okay, maybe, but not anymore.”

“This is great. Maybe this is the first step of being able to go out in public with him without having to worry about him being crucified for touching me.”

“Oh, hon, is it really that bad?”

“I’m exaggerating, obviously,” Rory rolls her eyes. “But I mean… you speaking of your distaste for my boyfriend wasn’t exactly pleasant.”

“I’m sorry,” Lorelai says, and Rory can tell that she’s being honest- her eyes are sympathetic and her mouth is beginning to turn downwards. 

“It’s okay- I appreciate you just looking out for me,” Rory says, tying off the trash bag. “Alright, I’m gonna take this out and go to bed, okay?”

“Alright, sweets. G’night.”

“Night. Love you.”

“Love you, too. And happy birthday!” Lorelai says, moving to go up the stairs.

-

“Jess?” Rory says through the door to Luke’s apartment on Saturday morning.

“It’s unlocked, you can come in,” he shouts from inside. Rory opens the door and sees him sitting on the couch, tying his shoes. “Morning. I’ll be down in a second.”

“Morning,” Rory responds, sitting down next to him and giving him a quick peck. “Don’t rush. Luke is freaking out about some group that comes in every week?”

“Oh yes, with all the babies.”

“Uh, yeah. He got scared because some woman started to breastfeed.”

“Yuck.”

“Hey, the kid needs to eat, too.”

“And while I acknowledge this, that does not mean I would love to see it.”

“Well, whatever, the point is, I don’t think he’s gonna miss you too much if you aren’t down right away.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely,” Rory says, brushing her lips against his, before pulling back.

“C’mon, give me a real one,” he complains, grasping her body and pulling it closer to his.

“Happy anniversary,” she mumbles against him.

“Happy anniversary.”

“Seems kinda silly to celebrate such a short amount of time.”

“Well, you know me, classic jokester,” he replies. “So, what are you doing today?”

“Well, I brought some schoolwork so I could work on it downstairs, but I think the crowd might keep me from getting any actual work done.”

“You can stay up here,” he says, moving to clean up the kitchen table.

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure. I mean, you’ve got all your stuff at the diner, you might as well stay.” He doesn’t look up, doesn’t see Rory stare at him, doesn’t know that this stupid, small act warms her. She knows he shows his affection through small gestures, things that seem ordinary but are really him trying to communicate how he feels. “I’ll go get your stuff, and you can use my desk, if you want,” he says, and briefly touches her elbow before heading out the door. That was another way he expressed himself, through touching, as if to say _I’m here, and so are you, and I’m glad about it_.

Later, after she’s finished her work and has dropped it back off at her house- where she changed out of her tee shirt into a prettier blouse, as well- she sits in the diner again, waiting for him to finish his shift. She watches him move back and forth across the diner, giving short responses to the patrons, captivated by the way his body moves, the way he holds himself. It’s almost like he’s defensive, even if there’s no real threat, like he’s waiting for something to happen. She’s noticed it before, but hasn’t really thought about it. She doesn’t know why he acts this way, but doesn’t want to ask.

“Ready?” he says, startling her a bit. She looks up. Somewhere between the time she last saw him dart across the diner and now he snuck upstairs to change out of his clothes, into fresh ones that don’t smell like diner.

“Already? The movie doesn’t start for a while.”

“We can find something else to do, drive around, whatever,” Jess reasons. “We can venture out of the town barriers, if you’re feeling rebellious.”

“Ha ha. Okay, let’s go,” she says, lifting herself up out of the seat. 

They drive, with no real place to go. They take Luke’s truck, due to lack of any other option, Joey Ramone’s voice loud on the radio until Jess lowers it and turns into a McDonald’s.

“What are we doing here?” Rory asks, a little confused.

“What else do you do at a McDonald’s besides eat?”

“I don’t know. Maybe drug deals?”

“I assure you, there will be no illegal activity tonight. Now, tell me what you want so I can order.”

She does, they order, and he pulls into a parking space so they can eat. She gobbles down her food quickly, and rolls her eyes when he teases her.

“Hey,” she says after a while. “We should do gifts, while we’re here.”

“I’ve been wondering what’s in that bag at your feet.”

“Here,” she says, handing him a medium sized, dark green gift bag. She watches him take the contents out: a leather notebook, and a pen- the fancy kind, that comes in a nice box- and tries to judge his reaction, but his face is unreadable. “I always see you writing stuff down, on napkins and stuff, so I thought it would be nice for you to have some place to-”

“It’s great, Rory,” Jess says, looking up. “Thank you.” She smiles, and he reaches into his jacket pocket, retrieving a small package wrapped in brown paper. “Here- Luke doesn’t have any fancy wrap, so I had to improvise.”

“Thanks,” she says, taking it and unwrapping it. “Oh… wow,” she says, removing the lid of the box. Inside is a silver bookmark in the shape of a feather, with a tassel and a purple charm on the end of it. “This is beautiful, Jess. Thank you.” She looks up at him, and his nerves die away. Truth be told, he wasn’t really sure what to get her, so he’s glad she likes it.

“Don’t mention it,” he says, starting the car. “Let’s get going, before we miss the movie.”

-

“This is nice,” Rory whispers, curled up on one of the movie theater couches with her feet tucked underneath of her and her head on Jess’ shoulder, stomach full of burger and fries and milkshake.

“Shh. I’m missing the movie,” he replies, but kisses the top of her head anyway, not looking away from he end of _The Wizard of Oz_ playing out on the screen. “It is nice,” he whispers after a few minutes.

“I like it when you’re like this.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Less defensive.”

Almost instantly, she feels him tense up. “Did I say something wrong?” she asks, moving to give him space. 

He doesn’t look at her, and his jaw clenches and unclenches as he tries to figure out what to respond with. “No,” he finally says, sighing.

“You look like you want to say something.”

“Nope.”

“You can tell me, you know.”

“Nothing to say.”

“Jess, clearly there’s something wrong, you’re upset, and I want to try and make it better.”

“You can’t!” he whispers sharply, then sighs. “Come on, the movie’s over. I’ll take you home.”

He does, and he even walks her to her front door, but when he kisses her goodbye, it feels like she’s kissing some stand in Jess, and the real Jess is somewhere far away.

-

He’s distant, the next couple of days, and she barely talks to him. They normally don’t get to see each other during the week anyway, but anytime she does see him the conversation is strained. And she can’t explain why, but she’s a little angry at him for it. Probably because she doesn’t understand, and he won’t explain, so she’s left in the dark while he’s drifting.

And that’s why, when her weird neighbor Dwight’s sprinklers won’t turn off and she’s running to find someone to help, she brushes by him, knocking into his shoulder.

“Hey!” he says, turning around, but she ignores him. “Woah, woah, slow down.” She walks faster.

“Get out of my way.”

“I like the new look. It’s very ‘Blue Crush’.”

“Hilarious. Take a hint.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re walking pretty fast for ‘nothing’.”

“Well, our president said ‘exercise’ and I am very patriotic.”

“And completely soaked.”

“Where is everyone?”

“Who are you looking for?”

“No one.”

“Clearly.”

“Jess, I’m walking away, and I suggest you follow example.”

“Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Oh, that’s very hypocritical of you.”

“Hey! Rory, stop,” he says, turning in front of her to block her path. “What’s the matter- other than the fact that you’re obviously out of towels.” His question has layers, but she chooses to ignore that.

She sighs. “This guy moved in across the way from us, and we said we’d water his lawn, and the grass can only be watered in ten minute increments, otherwise, the lawn drowns, and the thing is _stuck_ and it won’t turn off, and I have to find someone- Luke, or Taylor, or-” she rambles, and he starts walking in the directions she came in. “Where are you going?” she asks, and he breaks out in a jog. “Jess!”

She follows him back to Dwight's, yelling, “You didn’t have to do this. I didn’t ask you to do this! I can find someone else to do it.” But he ignores her, running down the street and the right up the pathway, into the sprinkler spray, picking up the piece of metal and shutting the water off. “You made it look so easy,” she says, her anger deflating from her.

“It was loose. You just had to press down and give it a good twist, that’s all.”

“Well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, and a hint of a grin appears on his face. “So, I’ll just-”

“I’m sorry,” she blurts.

“What?”

“I shouldn’t have gotten upset at you, you’re your own person and you don’t have to share everything with me, and I’m sorry that I forgot that momentarily.”

He sighs, sits down on Dwight’s front step, inviting her to do the same. “It’s not that you said anything wrong, because you didn’t, I just…” he trails off, tries to regroup. “I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I’m not exactly open to most people.” He stops, and she doesn’t say anything, just lets him think. “And I’m not like that as much with you, and- and I’m getting to be okay with that, it’s just I didn’t even really notice I acted differently, and when you pointed it out, it was…”

“Scary,” Rory finished for him.

“Yeah,” he says softly, turning away. “My survival instincts tell me to always be on defense. I’ve never…” he trails off, and she knows he won’t finish that sentence. 

“Okay,” she says, simply. She won’t push, because she doesn’t need to. 

“I want to be able to tell you things, to be more relaxed all the time. I don’t want to be screwed up like this.”

“You’re not screwed up. And you don’t have to.”

“I want to,” he says, and she realizes how close they are. He reaches for her head, cradling her cheek in his palm, and pulls her close, giving her a lingering kiss. “I think we should probably leave now, unless you enjoy the feel of wet tights.” She giggles, and lets him help her stand up.

“Hey,” she says, putting her hands on his shoulders once they’re standing. “I want you to tell me things too. But no pressure, I mean it. I want you to tell me of your own accord. On your own terms.”

“Okay,” he says, almost in a whisper. 

“And you shouldn’t change who you are just because I couldn’t understand this one time, alright?" she rambles. "We’re alike in a lot of ways, but not in this way and that’s okay.”

“Okay,” he repeats.

“And I want you to see yourself the way I do, and the way I know Luke does, even if he doesn’t say it out loud, because you are a lot of things, Jess Mariano, but a screw up is not one of them.”

“Thank you.” She doesn’t respond verbally, just lets him kiss her.

“Okay, really, let’s go, because this is getting cheesy, and you were right about the wet tights,” she says. He laughs this time, and she basks in the sound of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there is a lot of discourse over when Jess' birthday is- people factor in zodiac signs, and I'm going to be honest, I don't have enough knowledge on them to come to a decision based around his personality, so I looked up when Jack Pearson's birthday is (I don't watch This Is Us, but I know Milo stars in it) and it said his birthday was August 31st, so that's what I'm going with for the sake of the story. August 31st is also my birthday, so I'm indulging myself here a little ;)
> 
> Some dialogue taken + tweaked from Season 3 Episode 5 "Eight O'Clock at The Oasis" 
> 
> I post about this story (among other things) on my tumblr (lily-of-the-vallies) so if you're interested, check it out :)
> 
> All reviews are welcomed (and encouraged!!!)


	4. Cars, Blankets, and Deviled Eggs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory and Lorelai receive an invitation, and Rory and Jess participate in cathartic activities.

_**Let me in the wall, you've built around** _

_**And we can light a match and burn it down** _

_The Civil Wars, "Dust to Dust"_

“Hey,” Jess says, walking up next to Rory, Lorelai, and Luke. Rory looked at her mother, asking a wordless question.

“Go,” Lorelai says, waving her hand in dismissal. “Luke and I will go back to the diner and I’ll harass him for baked goods.” Luke rolls his eyes, but follows her anyway.

“So, how was the meeting?” Jess asks, turning towards Rory.

“Oh, riveting. Bird poop, protesting, and Patty’s newest man were the big topics,” Rory replies, letting Jess wrap his arm around her shoulders while they walk.

“Sorry I missed it.”

“Sure you are,” she replies, then stops. “Oh, wow, is this your new car?”

“I don’t think ‘new’ should ever be used in a sentence when describing it.”

“But it’s yours?”

“Yup.”

“That’s exciting!”

“You are  _ way _ too peppy,” Jess says, pointing at her accusingly.

“It’s your car, it’s exciting.”

“It’s not exactly pleasant to look at.”

“It’s got character.”

“What, are you gonna name it, too?”

“Ooo, get back to me on that tomorrow and I’ll have a list of possible candidates for you to choose from.”

“Sshh,” Jess says, effectively shutting her up with a kiss.

“Hi,” she laughs once she’s pulled away.

“I think we’ve already been through pleasantries.”

“I have to get going soon.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, my mom is probably already gone from Luke’s and will be waiting for me, and I have tons of studying to do-”

“Woah, relax,” Jess says, smoothing her jacket sleeves from her shoulder to her wrist. “You don’t have to apologize for nothing.”

Rory sighs. “Okay. Sorry. Sorry again,” she says, rolling her eyes at herself. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” Jess says, leaning back in. “Don’t leave just yet.”

“You’re a terrible influence,” she giggles.

-

Rory walks through the front door a little while later to her mother lounged out on the couch. 

“You started a movie without me?” Rory asks, not bothering to look at the television, making her way to the stack of papers on the desk.

“You were gone for so long, I was wondering if I’d ever see you again,” Lorelai replies, and Rory lets out a single, dry snort. “And it’s just cable. Oh, by the way, you’ve got some mail there.”

“Yeah, I see it,” Rory says, picking up the envelope and opening it. “Oh.”

“What is it?” Lorelai questions, turning her head. “Honey, what is it?” she asks again, seeing the expression on Rory’s face.

“It’s an invitation to Sherry’s baby shower,” Rory says, holding the paper up.

“You’re kidding.”

“No,” Rory says, walking to sit next to Lorelai on the couch. “It’s at her and Dad’s house. On Sunday.”

“That’s strange, though. We haven’t spoken to him in forever. I mean, she has to know we’re in the outs with him, right?”

“Yeah, but she may not now  _ how _ in the outs.”

“Zero contact is maximum on the outs.”

“Yeah,” Rory says, looking flustered. “Although, there may have been some.”

“Some what?”

“Some contact.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I just- he emailed me a while ago and I emailed him back, and now we talk on the phone every once in a while.” 

“You don’t have to apologize. You are one-hundred percent allowed to talk to him, regardless of my personal issues,” Lorelai says seriously. “Do you want to go?”

“I mean…” Rory pauses to think. “I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. I should probably get to know Sherry a little bit.”

“Yeah, she is carrying your future baby brother or sister.”

“That’s so weird to think about.”

“Then don’t think about it. Sit and watch mindless television with Mommy instead.”

-

A few days later, after Rory has picked out a gift for Sherry, she walks with Lane back from the store. 

“So you think I got a good gift?”

“Definitely, baby blankets are a must have and you can never have enough of them- I mean, babies constantly have stuff oozing out of their body  _ everywhere _ .”

“Gross.”

“Well, what can you do. Hey, is that new?” Lane asks, pausing.

“Oh, that’s Jess’ new car.”

“Jess has a car? Since when?”

“He got it last week.”

“I wouldn’t call it new, by the way,” Lane says, looking at it more closely.

“Oh, shush. It’s fine.”

“This is a big deal!”

“Why?” Rory asks, her face scrunching up.

“Your boyfriend has a car now!”

“Yes, I am aware. I’m the one who told you.”

“Have you ridden in it yet?”

“Um, no?”

Lane turns her head, to see Jess walking up, a slightly confused look on his face. “Hey,” he says to Rory. “Hi, Lane.”

“Hey right back.”

“Lane…”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No,” Rory says.

“Yes. You have a car.”

“I know.”

“Don’t give me lip!” Lane says, with mock aggression.

“Lip?”

“Lane!” Rory says, eyes widening.

“You have a car and you haven’t let Rory ride in it yet?”

“Lane, stop it,” Rory says, embarrassed. 

“I’ve had the car for a week, and Rory hasn’t needed to go anywhere.”

“You two should go somewhere! It would be so cute,” Lane smiles. “Oh, I should get going. Take her out, Jess!”

Rory watches Lane leave, then turns back to him. “Oh, my God, I am  _ so  _ sorry, I have no idea where that came from.”

Jess smirks. “No biggie. It’s been a while since I’ve been yelled at despite not doing anything wrong. Keeps me on my toes.”

“I really don’t think she’s even mad or anything. She’s just so excited with Dave and I think it’s projecting on to every other aspect of her life.”

“Well, good for her,” Jess nods. “What’s in the bag?”

“Baby blanket.”

“For who?”

Rory sighs. “My dad’s girlfriend is pregnant and she invited me to the baby shower.”

“Wow,” he says, leaning back on the car. “I didn’t know your dad was having a kid.”

“It’s kind of a touchy subject. Even my mom and I have only ever talked about it a handful of times,” Rory says. “Actually, the night I ran into you at Doose’s, I had just come back from this awful dinner that my dad basically crashed and I know it doesn’t excuse me freaking out at you, but it wasn’t  _ just _ you.”

“I’m sorry. When is it?”

“This Sunday.”

“If you want, I’ll hide some donuts from the diner and you can come get them when it’s over.”

“I knew I kept you around for a reason!” she says, leaning in to kiss him.

-

On Sunday night, Rory and Lorelai pull back into Stars Hollow, exhausted physically and mentally.

“Oh, mom, can you pull over?” Rory says as they approach Luke’s.

“Why?” Lorelai asks, but she does so anyway.

“Jess said he’d save some donuts for us.”

“I think he meant he’d save some donuts for  _ you _ .”

“Well, I can share.”

“Nah,” Lorelai says, waving her hand. “You go in, I’m gonna head home. I just want this day to be over.”

“You’d leave me here all by myself.”

“You can get your boy toy to drive you home in that spiffy new car!”

Rory rolls her eyes, opening the car door. “I’ll see you at home, then.”

“Oh, take the deviled eggs. Maybe Jess and Luke will want them.”

“I seriously doubt it,” Rory says, but grabs the Tupperware container anyway.

The diner is dark inside, but Rory can see Jess wiping the counters inside. Luke is nowhere to be found, so he must already be up in the apartment for the night.

“Hey,” she says when she enters, walking to the counter.

“Hey yourself,” he says, leaning into to kiss her. “How was it?”

“Interesting. Nobody could say the word 'baby'. Mom messed up the medicine cabinet.”

“Huh?”

“I went back and fixed it afterwards.”

“Probably for the best.”

“Yeah,” she says, shifting to look over the counter. “So, where are my donuts?"

He rolls his eyes. “Here,” he says, handing her a plate covered in saran wrap.

“All wrapped and everything,” she gushes, taking a glazed one. 

“What are the deviled eggs for?” Jess asks, pointing to the container on the counter.

“Oh, we were sent home with them. Mom told me to bring them in with me, in case you or Luke wanted them.”

“I don’t think so,” Jess says, then pauses. “Grab your donut and the container.”

“Where are we going?” Rory asks, but Jess just smirks at her.

-

They end up at the dock, facing the water.

“Why are we here?” Rory asks. Jess doesn’t answer, put reaches out his hand for her to give him the container. She does, and watches as he takes off the lid and take one out. He steps back and launches one across the lake.

Rory lets out a surprised laugh. “Here,” he says, angling the container towards her. She looks at him strangely for a second, but takes one anyway, and throws it across the water. She stands back, breathing a little heavier, and watches it sail through the air before landing with a satisfying  _ splash _ .

“Now, doesn’t that feel good?”

“Cathartic. Let me have another,” she says, and they both take one to throw. “You better watch out, I’m getting worked up. You might be next.”

“Maybe next week.”

“Last one,” she says, looking at the container.

“You take it.”

She smiles, and sends the last deviled egg flying. “This was fun!” she exclaims, turning towards him.

"Rory Gilmore: Devil Child."

"Thank you for bringing me here."

“Yeah, well, you let out some pent up anger, I get to hear Taylor yell about deviled eggs mysteriously showing up splattered along the lake’s edge. Win win.”

They sit down close to one another, feet dangling. A few minutes pass, and she allows herself to rest her head on his shoulder.

She hears him open his mouth, because he draws in a quick gasp as he does it, as if he’s trying to say something. She doesn’t press. He does it a few more times, before finally making noise.

“Liz- my mom- always loved openly. Or, at least, what she thought was love. She let all of her feelings just…  _ out there _ , let them all escape. And I watched her do that, watched her feel everything  _ so much _ . And she would hurt herself in the process, and hurt me, all the time, whether it was her actions or the actions of whatever man was staying at our apartment. She would get so attached, and then she would go off the rails when it inevitably crumbled. So I trained myself to do the exact opposite,” he rambles. Rory doesn’t respond with anything, but she snakes her arm around his waist, pulling herself closer to him. “I don’t know why I wanted to tell you that. I just got an urge.”

“I’m glad you did,” Rory says, turning towards him. She knows he’s trying to explain himself for shutting down during their anniversary date. “I’m sorry you had to go through that for so long,” she whispers.

“Doesn’t matter now,” he says, and she thinks he might be one of the bravest people she’s ever met, just for that statement. It  _ does _ matter, it matters so much, and he brushes it off as if it were something minuscule. 

They fall back into silence for a while, until Rory lifts off her watch, and grumbles about it being late. “Come on,” Jess says, standing up and offering her a hand, pulling her to her feet. “I’ll walk you home.” He does, and they spend a few silent moments on the porch together before she tells him goodbye and heads inside.

She’s exhausted, but she climbs the stairs to her mother’s room to give her a kiss on the forehead, even though Lorelai has been asleep for an hour. Despite her body aching for sleep, she stays awake in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about what Jess had said earlier. He's never opened up like that before- she knew that his mother was less than stellar just from the lack of an invitation to come back home last Christmas, but she didn't know the extent of it. She probably still doesn't. She's sure that Jess has a lot more that he's keeping hidden from her- from _everyone,_ really- about his life before Stars Hollow. Eventually, sleep takes over and puts her loud mind to rest, but the next day she doesn't feel like she's slept at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue (or the skeleton of it, anyway) taken from Season 3 Episode 6. I changed it a bit, though, but the idea still was from the og writing of the episode :)  
> All reviews are welcomed (and encouraged!!!).


	5. The Disco Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory and Lorelai participate in the Dance Marathon! Jess visits, and Rory has a hard conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza, remember this story! Because I did, I SWEAR, but my motivation levels were in the negatives.

_**I've never been a natural** _

_**All I do is try, try, try** _

_-Taylor Swift, "mirrorball"_

“Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?” Rory says from her couch, holding a slice of pizza. 

“Why?” Jess replies, walking back into the living room with two glasses of soda.

“You can’t answer a question with a question.”

“Well, my answer depends on your answer,” he says, sitting down next to her.

“Thank you,” she mumbles into her coffee cup, taking a sip. “The Twenty-Four Hour Dance Marathon is this weekend-”

“Oh, no. No way.”

“Shush, let me finish. My mom’s going- not really sure with who yet, but she’ll find a partner eventually- and I have to work on the  _ Franklin _ with Paris, but I thought we could go later, watch it from the bleachers.”

“I don’t know…” Jess says, shifting in his place.

“You can see Taylor get drunk off punch around the fifteenth hour!” Jess rolls his eyes. “Please? We don’t have to stay long.”

He sighs. “I guess… you really want to go to this thing?”

“I really want to go to this thing.”

“Okay,” he says, leaning back.

“Really?” Rory asks, smiling.

“Really. But just know, you might not be so lucky next time.” He leans in to kiss her, but pulls away when Lane comes crashing into the room. 

“Well?” Rory asks.

Lane holds the phone to her chest. “He’s home!”

Jess raises his eyebrows. “That’s why you called him? Just to see if he’s there and then hang up?”

“I have to wait until he calls about the band, and in between I call and hang up on him,” Lane says, leaning over the couch. “Pathetic,” she mumbles as an afterthought.

“It’s not so pathetic,” Rory says, taking a sip of soda.

“Didn’t you used to hang up on Dean?” Lane asks, and then her eyes widen as both Rory and Jess get an uncomfortable expression on their face. “Oh, I’m sorry…”

“It’s whatever,” Rory says, shrugging. “It’s a girl thing, I guess.”

“I’m gonna love him forever, and he’s never gonna know it,” Lane says, mouth full of pizza.

“Why don’t you just talk?” Jess asks.

Lane ignores him. “At least he’s home and not out with a girl,” she says, and then her smile falls. “Oh my God, what if he’s at home with a girl?!”

“I don’t think he’s at home with a girl,” Rory tries to assure her.

“I’m gonna call again, and see if I can hear a girl.”

“Pay attention to the background noise,” Rory calls out to her. Lorelai walks through the front door, singing praise to the pizza on the coffee table, and Rory shushes her. “She’s calling Dave to see if she can hear a girl in the background.”

“Oh,” Lorelai replies, nodding her head in understanding. 

“Well, what’d you hear?” Rory asks Lane, who is once again back.

“‘Quadrophenia.’”

“Classy, but not date-like,” Rory says.

“You think?” 

“Definitely.”

“Rory, can I talk to you in the kitchen?” Lorelai asks, but is already halfway down the hall as she’s asking the question.

“Sure,” Rory replies, a little confused. She turns to Jess. “Are you okay out here?”

“I’m a big boy.”

“I know, I just… know you aren’t very comfortable around… people.”

Jess huffs. “It’s just Lane. What is she gonna do, make me listen to Dave’s breathing patterns?”

“Be nice!” Rory scolds, swatting his arm. She follows Lorelai into the kitchen, pulling out a chair and sitting down. “Okay, so what’s on your mind?”

Lorelai giggles. “I think I figured it out, who can be my dance partner for the marathon.”

“Great! Who?” Rory asks. Lorelai just stares at her, smiling, and it dawns on Rory. “Bye.”

“Come on!” 

“Forget it.”

“Just hear me out,” Lorelai says, raising her hand up. “First of all, you love me.”

“Not right at this moment I don’t.”

“You know how much this contest means to me. You’d never fall asleep, or chase a pie.”

“I do not dance!”

“It’ll be fun! We’ll get all dressed up, and you’re light! Easy to hold up when you get tired.”

Rory grimaces. “Mom!”

“Plus,” Lorelai continues, “we got the whole mother-daughter gimmick going for us. The crowd will eat that up.”

“I cannot dance with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I  _ just _ persuaded Jess to come with me, and it’s his first, and we were gonna go watch it together!”

“So? No offense, but I don’t think he will be incredibly disappointed to miss out on it.”

“Mom.”

“Rory, please? He can still come! And then he can watch as we do our victory lap around the gym instead of Kirk this year.”

Rory sighs. “Okay, I’ll tell you what. I was supposed to work on  _ The Franklin _ this weekend with Paris.”

“But?”

“I will ask her if we can reschedule. If she says ‘yes’ then… I will dance with you.”

Lorelai squeals and pulls her into a hug. “Oh, I love ya!”

“You should sell cars,” Rory grumbles. 

“I should, shouldn’t I?” 

Rory rolls her eyes, and walks back into the living room where Lane is once again pacing on the phone, and plops down on the couch next to Jess with a huff.

“What was that all about?” he asks, mouth full of pizza.

“There might be a change of plans,” Rory says. He raises his eyebrow, and she sighs before continuing. “My mom wants me to be her dance partner.”

He can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “What?” he asks, wiping his mouth.

“My mom wants me to be her dance partner.”

“Yeah, I heard you, I just…” he pauses, taking a breath. “You doing it?”

“I told her I’d have to check if I can change plans with Paris, but in all reality, I’ll probably end up doing it regardless,” she sighs, resting her head in her hands. “You don’t have to stay the entire time.” Jess doesn’t say anything, but Rory can hear an audible breath of relief, and her head shoots up. “Hey, you could at least pretend to be disappointed!”

“My bad,” Jess says, raising his arms. “I’ll go if you want me to,” he says slowly, and Rory perks up. “Only for a bit!”

“I’ll take it,” she replies, smiling. “Thank you. Again.”

“No biggie.”

“No, you…” she starts, cutting herself off. “You don’t really like… doing things.”

“Gee.”

“No!” she exclaims, backtracking. “I just mean that you aren’t the most social, and you still come here to eat dinner with my best friend and my mother, and you attend town events with me.”

“Hey, I’ve bailed on countless town events,” Jess points out. “Plus, I can be social,” he teases. “I talk to you, and Lane occasionally, you know. I’m not a total recluse.”

“Oh, yeah. Me, Lane, and who else?”

“Well, sometimes I respond to Luke’s grunting.”

“Har-har.”

***

As it turns out, Paris is feeling exceptionally generous, not to mention slightly lovestruck, and Rory can’t help but silently curse the universe for it’s terrible timing. So when Saturday rolls around, she and Lorelai are up before the sun, dressed in vintage clothing and applying last-minute touch-ups to hair and makeup. Well, Lorelai is. Rory is attempting to keep her eyes open long enough for her mother to apply mascara.

Her drowsiness doesn’t go away for a while, and she blearily makes the walk across town, the promise of coffee keeping her feet moving. She visits Lane, but not before catching the beginning of a distressed rant from Sookie, and stands in line for the physical, eagerly sipping the secret coffee from Luke. As her senses become more vivid and her mind less hazy, she finds herself more thankful that Paris let her off the hook. Sure, the idea of spending twenty-four hours awake and upright is daunting, to say the least, but hey, there are worse ways to spend a weekend, and it doesn’t hurt that the environment is enjoyable. Rory looks around the transformed gym, eyes traveling over the banners and paper flags, until they land on the disco ball hanging from the ceiling, casting squares of light across the walls and floor.

“Hey, wake up,” Lorelai says, snapping in Rory’s face. “Countdowns starting!”

Taylor’s horn blares, and both of them smile widely, beginning to dance. Rory feels slightly self-conscious, dancing in front of all these people, but the music is lively and the energy in the room is high, and she feels herself let go of the tension and enjoy herself.

***

The diner is relatively empty today, but that doesn’t surprise Jess. The majority of Stars Hollow is at the Dance Marathon, either to participate or to watch.

Still, Jess sits at the counter for majority of the day with a book, taking orders every once in a while. Babette and Maury come in for lunch, dressed in present-day clothes rather than their dancing ones.

“Hey, Jess!” Babette calls out, and he grimaces, before turning and walking over to their table. “Your girl looks real good, all dolled up. You’d be a fool not to go see her.” Jess doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he nods and moves to fill the coffee cup of the single other patron, and then retreats behind the counter. 

He plans on going later, doesn’t need Babette’s nudging to convince him. Rory requested a care package (“I’m beginning to think that there’s only one thing you want from me, Gilmore.” “Glad you’re catching on.”). 

But that isn’t until later. For now, he sits and reads.

***

“Oh, wow,” Lorelai says after an unknown amount of time- Rory’s stopped looking at the clock, for the time being, trying to live in the moment. “Look who’s here.”

Rory turns her head, and sees Dean and a blonde girl standing at the edge of the gym. “Oh.”

“You good?” 

“Yeah,” Rory says, nodding slowly. “Kind of weird, but it doesn’t really matter.”

“You gonna say hi to him later?”

“Maybe,” Rory replies. “I don’t know if he’s still mad at me,” she thinks out loud, before shaking her head. “No, that’s silly, we haven’t been together for months. We just haven’t talked since…”

“Yeah,” Lorelai says, and then changes the subject. “When’s Jess gonna be here?”

“Dunno. He’s working the diner for Luke.”

“Did you tell him to sneak in food for us?”

“Yes, I told him to sneak in food.”

“Good. I could use food that isn’t healthy in the slightest.” Lorelai sticks her tongue out in disgust. “Blech.”

“Maybe you should give it a try. Who knows, maybe egg-salad sandwiches will be your new favorite food.”

“Fat chance.”

And then Jackson and Sookie are next to them, and Jackson is asking cryptic questions while Sookie is trying to get him to stop, but Rory can’t even begin to try and figure out what that means because suddenly a horn goes off.

“Oh, my God,” Lorelai groans.

“What?” Rory asks, looking around. “What?”

“The Runaround.”

“The Runaround? That does not sound good.”

“I’m sorry baby. I’m so, so sorry,” Lorelai says, pulling Rory off to the side to stand with the rest of the dancers.

Rory did  _ not  _ sign up for  _ this _ .

Finally,  _ finally _ , the running-slash-Jackson-outburst is over, and Rory is getting up off the floor where she was previously sprawled out on. “I have to go find Jackson and Sookie,” Lorelai says, still out of breath.

“I’ll get us a couple of sandwiches, and see if Jess is here with the good food,” Rory pants out.

“Good idea!” Lorelai exclaims, grabbing Rory’s hand and helping her to her feet. “This is fun, huh?”

“Uh-huh, big fun.”

The food is across the street at Miss Patty’s, so Rory makes the walk over. She doesn’t see Jess, but the diner is still lit up, so she figures he must be there.

“Hey, Lane,” she greets her friend, who hands her two sandwiches. “Hi, Mrs. Kim.”

“Rory,” Mrs. Kim responds, with a nod of acknowledgment, before walking off.

“I noticed Dean was here,” Lane says, still scooping. 

“Oh, yeah, I saw him a little while ago.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“No,” Rory says, shifting in her place. “Why, do you think I should?”

“I don’t know. It’s up to you, I guess.”

Rory turns, and sees Dean in the corner. He’s talking to the blonde girl again, but she walks off a second later. “Maybe I should.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, why not? I mean, it’s been a while since… you know. It’ll be nice to talk.”

“Alright. I’ll be here scooping.”

Rory nods and smiles, before cautiously making her way over to Dean. She thinks about backing out, turning around, but he meets her eye before she can, and lightly smiles at her.

“Hey, Rory,” he says, sticking her hands in her pockets.

“Hi,” she responds, playing with the hem of her coat. “I’m sorry if this is weird, but I saw you earlier and I just wanted to…”

“Talk?” Dean answers for her, and Rory nods, laughing nervously.

“Yeah,” she says, and then her smile fades. “Dean, I’m really sorry.”

Dean’s smile disappears, too, and he steps back a bit from her. “I guess you’re with him now. I’ve seen you guys together.”

“Yeah. I am. I don’t want to talk about him though.”

“I guess I knew it was coming though,” Dean says, rubbing his hand across his jaw.

“Dean…” Rory trails off, not really sure what to say. Even if she had some sort of direction, the lump forming in her throat is hindering her ability to speak anyway.

Dean continues on, his voice a hard edge. “It was pretty obvious. You didn’t want to be with me. I mean, you hardly wanted to spend time with me at the end. Guess I didn’t want to see it.” His face softens then. “I don’t want to dig all that up just to get angry, it doesn’t matter now. It was nice being able to see each other and to talk. I gotta get back, find Lindsay,” he says, and Rory figures that must be the girl he was with earlier.

She watches him walk off, but is rooted to the floor. It isn’t until her stomach rumbles that she has the sense to start walking again. Her eyes are a little blurry, but she can’t figure out why she wants to cry.

***

The diner is dead, more so than it was earlier. Jess glances at the clock, and looks across the empty room. Might as well pack up the food for Rory and Lorelai, he figures, so once he does that, he asks Caesar to close up, and walks out the door.

There are people in the street, so the Marathon must be on some sort of break, and he can’t help but to mentally pat himself on the back for his great timing. He shifts the bag from one hand to the other, the handles digging into his hand, and nearly crashes into Rory while doing so.

“Geez,” he starts, before looking up and realizing it’s her. “Are you okay? You look like you’re gonna throw up.”

“Thanks,” she deadpans, wiping her nose. “I’m fine.”

“Usually when people are fine they don’t have tears in their eyes,” he says, touching her shoulder and moving them to the sidewalk. “What happened?”

“Nothing. It’s stupid.” Jess throws her a skeptical look, and she sighs. “I talked to Dean.”

“And he made you cry?”

“No, I made myself cry,” she says, putting her hand on her head. “I went up to talk to him, which was stupid, and he basically said that he should have known that I was going to break up with him, that I didn’t spend time with him, whatever. And he was right, wasn’t he?”

“Rory, stop.”

“And I’m just tired,” she continues. “And really hungry for something that isn’t a sandwich, and they made us  _ run _ around the gym.”

Jess stares at her, but eventually blinks and looks down. “Well, I’ve got food for you and your mom,” he says, lifting the bag. “Rory, you don’t have to beat yourself up over a relationship that ended months ago, and you don’t have to stress about how much or little time you spent with said person, because it’s over. Come on, now, people are going back inside.”

Rory chuckles. He’s been getting good at meaningful conversations. Jess gives her a questioning look, asking her  _ “What?” _ with his facial expression. “Nothing,” she says. “You’re right, let’s go inside.”

***

“Mom,” Rory says, a little out of breath from jogging. She hands her mom a sandwich and a muffin from the diner, which Lorelai accepts gratefully.

“Let’s go,” Lorelai says, grinning brightly, biting into the sandwich.

Their energy wanes, though, and by hour twenty-three they are leaning on each other, swaying more than dancing. 

“Tell me a joke,” Lorelai mumbles, as a last-ditch attempt to stay alert.

“Knock knock,” Rory replies, and they both break out in giggles.

“That’s a good one,” Lorelai says. “Ow!”

“You okay?”

“Oh no!”

“What?”

“My heel broke!”

“What?!”

“My heel just broke off! Damn, these are brand new shoes, too.”

“They were made in 1943,” Rory points out.

“Well,  _ I  _ just bought them Tuesday.”

“I told you not to wear vintage shoes.”

“But the lady in the store said they hadn’t been worn a lot.”

“Yeah, but not a lot in sixty years is still a lot.”

“I gotta fix them. Oh!” Lorelai exclaims, pulling a yellow card out of her dress. “I’ll use my emergency card. I’ll be right back.”

“No, stop! If you leave there’s no way I’ll be able to stand up on my own.”

“Ten minutes!”

“Nighty-night.”

“Fine. Hold on,” Lorelai says, looking around, until her eyes land on something- some _ one _ . “Jess. Jess, come here!”

Jess is reclined on the bleachers, a book in his hand, and sits up when he hears his name.

“Jess, get over here, or I swear to God I will drag you by your jacket collar myself.”

He rolls his eyes, sticks the book in his back pocket, and stands up, making his way over to Lorelai.

“Stand here,” Lorelai says, lifting Rory’s arm to rest on Jess’ shoulder, while Rory protests weakly.

“What?” is all Jess can ask, while Rory practically falls into him.

“My heel broke. Look, I’ll be back in ten minutes,” Lorelai explains. “Do not let her stop, or lay down. Do you understand me?”

“I-”

“I need you, Jess, God help me!”

Jess sighs and nods, placing his hands on Rory’s waist to steady her. 

“I’ll be right back, I swear,” Lorelai says.

“Yeah, yeah.” And with that, Lorelai half run, half limps off.

“I’m really sorry about this,” Rory says, readjusting herself.

“No biggie.”

“You sure?” Rory says, eyes closed and clinging on to him, almost like a monkey.

“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” he responds. He’s tense, though, and Rory can feel it. She knows why. He’s gotten more comfortable with Stars Hollow, but old habits die hard, especially one that’s such a large part of who he is. 

A few minutes go by, and Rory opens her eyes, craning her head to look at the ceiling. “I like it.”

“Huh?” Jess asks, confused.

“The disco ball.” She points to it. “I’ve been staring at it all night. It’s pretty.”

Jess raises his head to look at it. “It is,” he says, then looks straight ahead again.

“You’re tense,” Rory says, and regrets it almost immediately. She hadn’t meant to bring it up at all.

“What?”

Rory flounders, then decides she might as well go on. “There’s no one around. You can relax, you know, and show a hint of emotion.”

“I’m not-”

“Shhh,” Rory says, closing her eyes again and lazily putting a finger to Jess’ mouth. “Relax, silly boy.”

Jess hesitates. He’s caught off guard,  _ really _ caught off guard. He doesn’t have a problem with PDA, but slow dancing is another story. It’s more intimate. He’s good at hiding things, has been building up his walls for as long as he can remember, but sometimes, somehow, every so often, Rory manages to completely scale them. This is one of those times.

He lets his shoulders droop, and holds onto Rory a little tighter. He restrains himself from kissing her head, can’t bear to go  _ that _ cheesy in front of all these people.

A couple more minutes pass, and Lorelai comes dashing back in. “It’s fixed! It’s fixed!” she yells and then lowers her voice. “I got her. Thanks, Jess.”

Jess nods and lets Lorelai slip into where he was standing, and goes back over to the bleachers, pulling out his book again. He looks up though, and briefly locks eyes with Rory. She smiles at him before looking at her mom, who is saying something quietly to her.

***

“Just a few more minutes,” Lorelai says, rubbing Rory’s arm.

“Perfect, that’ll be just enough time for me to complete the list of all the reasons I hate you,” Rory grumbles.

“I love you too,” Lorelai says. She looks over and then perks up. “Oh my God!”

“What?”

“Look!” Lorelai points across the gym, and Rory cranes her head. “Kirk… Kirk collapsed!”

“Oh my God,” Rory says, straightening. “Is he okay?”

“It doesn’t matter. We won!”

“What?”

“We’re the last people standing!”

“No way.”

“Way!” Lorelai says, jumping up and down. “Taylor!” The man in question is sprawled out across several fold-out chairs, so Miss Patty blows an airhorn instead. 

“You go get the trophy, I’m gonna sit down,” Rory says, patting Lorelai on the shoulder, who squeals in response. She walks over to Jess, who has his book faced down on his knee, already looking at her.

“Congrats.”

“I think this is going to be the highlight of my mom’s year. Maybe life,” Rory says, sitting down. “I can’t believe you stayed the entire rest of the time.”

“Glad I did. Now I’ll have Kirk falling to the floor as a memory for the rest of my life.”

Rory laughs. “I’m sorry I got all weird on you earlier,” she says, sobering. “I promise I’m not on drugs or anything.”

“I don’t know. Maybe that disco ball you were so fascinated by had some sort of hypnotic powers.”

She laughs again, and so does he, but then it’s his turn to sober.

“You know, if we’re going down that path of talking…” he stops, rubs the back of his neck. “You know you don’t owe  _ everyone _ something, right?”

Rory sits up straight. “What?”

“It’s just, you were so torn up about whatever it was Dean said, and maybe I’m biased, but I don’t think you should stress about things that are done now, or try and change something about yourself because you feel guilty.” Rory opens her mouth to protest, but Jess cuts her off before she can. “Easier said than done, I know.”

She lowers her head and thinks about his words. She  _ does _ do that. It’s a constant cycle for her, feeling that she’s too selfish one moment and then feeling that maybe she isn’t selfish enough the next, and not knowing how to deal with either one. Half the time she feels like she’s putting on a show for everyone, and when she inevitably does crack, everyone seems shocked. She wishes it could just be a natural thing for herself, that she could do as well as she does with school when it comes to people. 

“I think your mom’s coming over, so you better go meet her before she bursts with excitement,” he says, pointing. “And I gotta go find Luke before he finds me. He’ll probably want help with the coffee stand stuff.”

“You’re good,” Rory says, and the two words hold multiple meanings. She looks up at him, into his eyes, hoping that he gets both messages. He does.

“Don’t say that too loud,” says Jess, leaning in to kiss her. “Later.”

While he leaves her to think about his words, he’s stewing over hers from earlier. She has a way of bringing out parts of him he thought died, only to discover they were just dormant. He doesn’t like the phrase ‘bringing out the best in me,’ but can’t help to acknowledge that it’s partially true. He hangs out in his girlfriend’s living room, does favors for her mom that require slight humiliation, and gives pep talks. Who is this person? Deep down, if he  _ really  _ thinks about it, he knows those qualities always existed, he just chose not to act on them. But now that he is- well, he wouldn’t say he feels  _ better _ necessarily, but he doesn’t mind it, either. Who knew? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes:  
> -I'm trying to get Jess on a path where he grows as a person sooner, rather than later as he did on the show. Because of this, I feel he might seem a little OOC. Just trying to get him to his best state ASAP because he deserves it.  
> -I am NOT a Dean apologist. I swear. That said, I couldn't make him totally evil because I don't think it would be very realistic in this setting.  
> -I'm sorry I didn't include anything with the bridge. Don't worry, it will get it's time to shine!  
> -Some recognizable dialogue from Season 3 Episode 7, that I do not own.   
> -All reviews are welcome (and encouraged!!!).


	6. Yale Tours, Deep-Fried Turkeys, & Other Forms of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to Yale is made. Jess does some thinking. Four Thanksgiving dinners are had. And, predictably, Lorelai quarrels with her parents through it all.

_**Now I'm staring at a stranger man than I have ever been** _

_**For the first time in my life I think I like what I am seeing** _

_-Honeywater, "Stranger"_

“I’ve never been more exhausted in my life,” Lorelai says, her head in her arms on the table.

“And who’s fault is that?” Rory groans, glaring at her mother. Jess appears with two mugs and a coffee pot. “Oh, bless you.” He gives her a sarcastic wink and walks off.

“My feet hurt,” Lorelai whines.

“You said on the way over here.”

“Well, they still hurt now.”

“Mine hurt too,” Rory pouts.

The bell of the diner door jingles and Kirk walks in, looking miserable. “Oh, hello, Lorelai.”

“Uh, hi, Kirk.”

“If you’re going to mock me over my loss, just get it out of the way now.”

“I wasn’t going to. Although, now that you mention it…”

“Hey, Mom,” Rory cuts her off. “I gotta get to school, I’m gonna miss my bus.”

“What? It took us thirty minutes to get here?”

“Yeah. Lots of limping.”

“Well, come on, let’s order you some donuts or something to go. Hey, Jess!” she shouts, walking up to the counter.

“You know,” he says, “a normal, polite patron would wait at their table patiently.”

“When have you ever known me to be either of those things. Besides, our Rory here needs a donut for her bus ride to Hartford.”

He rolls his eyes, turning to Rory. “What kind?”

“Blueberry, please!”

“Here,” he says, putting the donut in a paper bag and handing it to her. “Do you want something, Lorelai?”

“Pancakes! And eggs. Bacon, too, please.”

“Tell that to Luke, then.”

Lorelai’s mouth opens in shock. “Excuse me, you asked me what I wanted.”

“Yeah, and I thought you wanted something already made. I gotta go to school.”

“You’re still going to that?”

“Funny.”

“Mom, Luke’s coming over, you can tell him what you want,” Rory says, pointing to the other side of the diner, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you after school.”

“Oh, alright. See you, babe.” Lorelai leaves, slowly limping in the direction of Luke.

“Dance Marathon really did a number on her, huh?” Jess asks once they’re outside the diner.

“Oh yeah. Me too, if I’m honest. Exercise is not what we excel in.”

“I can see that.”

“Hey, don’t you have school?”

“In a bit.”

“Well, we just passed the high school.”

“I know this. I’ve got time.”

Rory nods. “So what do you plan on doing, then, in that time?”

“Well, this bench seems fine for reading.”

“Complete coincidence that it’s at my bus stop.”

“Yup.”

“Gee, people are gonna start thinking that you like me, or something,” she says, smiling.

“Yeah, or something.”

-

Later that week, Lorelai and Rory find themselves practically starving at the Gilmore mansion, after Emily sends the salad back to be remade for the umpteenth time.

“You know, Mom, in Europe they eat the salad last and the main course first,” Lorelai says desperately.

“We’re not in Europe.”

“We could pretend!”

“Really, Lorelai, you can’t wait ten more minutes for another salad? The situations that dire?”

“Four salads ago, no, not dire. Right now, it’s ‘Your money for nothing and the chicks for free.’”

“Rory?”

“She didn’t have lunch.”

“Fine,” Emily says, standing.

“Where are you going?” Richard asks, looking up from his newspaper.

“Apparently we’re going to be European tonight.”

“Oh, wonderful. I was getting so tired of being American day after day after day,” Richard jokes. “Well, while we have some time. Rory, have you read anything interesting lately?”

“Oh, mostly stuff for school. I’ve been reading through ‘Love Is A Dog From Hell,’ though.”

“Ah, Bukowski.”

“You’ve read it?”

“I’ve read some of his other works and poetry. I’m not just an uptight old man, you know.”

“Hey, isn’t that the one Jess let you borrow?” Lorelai interjects.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Jess?” Richard asks. “Is she one of your friends at school?”

“Er, no, Grandpa,” Rory starts, glaring at Lorelai who is holding in a laugh across the table. “Jess is my boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend? What happened to the other fellow?”

“They broke up, Dad,” Lorelai says.

“When was this?”

“When was what?” Emily asks, returning from the kitchen. 

“Rory was just telling me that she has a new boyfriend.”

“Really? What happened to the other young man?”

“Guys, people can break up, you know,” Lorelai cuts in. “That’s kind of how teenagers work.”

“How long have you been seeing this Jess?” Richard asks.

“A few months, I guess,” Rory answers.

“That long?” Emily questions. “Wait just a minute. Is this the same Jess that crashed your car and gave you that broken wrist?”

“Yes, but that was an accident, Grandma. And it was a fracture, not a break.”

“This young man crashed Rory’s car?” Richard asks.

“Dad, it was an accident,” Lorelai cuts in. “And you have  _ no  _ idea how much it pains me to say that. Trust me, if I’m defending him...”

“Lorelai, do you not approve of him?”

“No, Dad, I didn’t say that. I just… Look, Rory likes him, and he obviously cares about Rory, so isn’t that good enough?”

Both Emily and Richard look unimpressed, but eventually, Emily gives in. “Well, we’d like to meet him, when he’s available. You should invite him over for dinner, Rory.”

“Mom-” Lorelai begins to say.

Rory cuts her off. “Uh, actually Grandma, now’s not a really good time. He’s working a lot, and he has school, too.”

“Well, whenever. Tell him the invitation is out there.”

“I will. Um, I’m going to go get some more soda.” She leaves the dining room for the kitchen, and can just barely hear her mother and grandmother start to bicker about something, but can’t make out what. Her grandfather joins her a minute later, getting some ice for himself and some chocolate for the both of them, and thankfully he doesn’t bring Jess up again.

They begin talking about Rory’s schooling, which leads into Richard’s reunion of sorts at Yale. “You know, you might want to come with me next week.”

“Come with you where?” Rory asks, accepting another piece of chocolate.

“To Yale.”

“What?”

“Oh, I don’t mean the dinner- that would be boring for you- but you might enjoy seeing the school.”

“Well…”

“Your mother could come, too. It would a fun little adventure.”

“Wow.”

“We could drive down, have a little roadside snack, get there about noon, have a little tour. And then the two of you girls could go off and have fun, and the old folks could have a somber little dinner. I think you’d love to see it,” Richard says, smiling. “I certainly would love to show it to you.”

Rory smiles back, a little nervously. “Well, sure, Grandpa, that would be nice.”

“Wonderful!” Richard exclaims. “Oh, I’m thrilled. Do you want to tell your mother, or shall I?”

“Oh, you know what, I can tell her.”

“Alright, you tell her.” Just then, the maid comes hurrying back in again with a tray still full. Richard holds up a bar of chocolate. “Looks like we’re gonna need a few more of these.”

-

The drive home is awkward. Lorelai is angry, to say the least, at her father’s plan, and Rory is still a little shaken from the Jess conversation at the dinner table.

“I see you’re tolerating Jess now,” Rory says, finally breaking the silence.

“I do not. But you did not need your grandparents all over you about it.”

“Mom, I thought you were over the Jess thing?”

“Kid, I’m trying. Really trying, not just saying that. I heard you, weeks ago, on your birthday. I don’t want to come between the two of you.” Rory stares at her, but seems satisfied with that answer. “Plus, I wasn’t lying before. He does seem to care about you. I didn’t know he could do that.”

“Mom,” Rory warns, but can’t help the blush that creeps up the side of her face, and is grateful for the darkness to hide it.

-

“Hey, do we have any pop tarts left?” Lorelai asks as soon as they walk through the front door.

“Don’t know. I think we finished them this week.”

“Dammit! I’m going out to get more?”

“What? We have other food, Mom.”

“Kid, it is a pop tart kind of night. No substitutions.”

Rory bites her lip. “Mom, please don’t be too mad at Grandpa. He just wants to show me around the campus.”

“You’re so cute when you’re dumb. But fine, I won’t say anything else tonight,” Lorelai surrenders. “Wait, before I go…” Lorelai walks back into the living room and grabs the giant trophy from the table.

“Mom, what are you doing with that?”

“Kirk won’t stop complaining. I just wanna mess with him.”

“You’re evil!”

“I know!” Lorelai exclaims, smiling widely. “Okay, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Rory watches the Jeep pull out of the driveway and taps the table with her fingernails. Sighing, she grabs the phone and punches the keys.

“ _ ‘Lo?” _

“Hi.”

“ _ Hey _ ,” Jess says over the receiver. “ _ Are you okay? It’s kinda late _ .”

Rory glances at the clock, just now noticing the time. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

“ _ Nah. I was still up, and Luke’s doing something or other down stairs, so… _ ”

“All good.”

“ _ All good _ .” They’re both silent for a few beats until he breaks it again. “ _ So, did you just call to say hello, or…?” _

“Oh. Right. Well.”

“ _ Rory?” _

“My grandparents want you to come for dinner,” she blurts.

“What?”

Shoot. “I told them you couldn’t though,” she backtracks, and she’s pretty sure she can hear the breath of relief Jess lets out, even though the phone.

“ _ Okay. Anything else?” _

“Grandpa wants me to visit Yale with him,” Rory says, picking at the seam of her sweater with her free hand. “And I’m trying to be optimistic, but…”

“ _ I’m guessing it’s hard? _ ”

“Yeah. Especially since my mom is making a giant deal about it. I don’t know. I have a bad feeling, but I’m trying not to.”

“ _ Yeah _ ,” Jess drawls out. “ _ Man, I don’t really know what to say, I’m not exactly knowledgeable on the ins and outs of high society _ .”

“I just wanted to tell someone. You don’t have to say anything,” Rory says, biting her lip for the second time that night. “Hey, I think Grandpa approves of your reading preferences.”

“ _ Oh, yeah?” _

“Yeah. I told him I was reading that Bukowski you lent me, and he seemed to perk up at that.”

“ _ A wise man _ .”

-

Jess finds it strange that he doesn’t hate working the diner anymore. It isn’t his favorite pastime, but it is tolerable. More than tolerable, even. Maybe that was pushing it.

He’s never liked to get into his own head much. He figures that’s why he sticks paperbacks in his pockets and keeps the music volume high. So it’s a shock that he doesn’t mind the diner. Sure, there are times when he can’t think at all because it's so busy, but others where there’s nothing to do  _ but _ think. 

But it’s funny, because it's not the way he used to think. There are way less upsetting thoughts and nauseating stress. Instead, its random phrases and fragments of sentences and paragraphs, floating around his head. He’s been meaning to write them down to try and connect them all, but can’t seem to find the right time to do that. The notebook that Rory got him sits untouched in a desk drawer, almost mocking him.

He snaps out of it, though, when Rory and Lorelai come walking in, babbling to each other. He shoots the former a knowing smirk, goes to deposit his order notepad in the back of the diner, and tells Luke, in a slightly louder voice than necessary, he’s going to go pick up a car part.

This is a lie.

“I don’t see any car parts,” Rory says a few minutes later, walking towards him. He straightens up from his slouched position against the gas pump and rests his hands on her hips.

“Huh. Guess I got my dates mixed up.”

“Silly Jess. Are you gonna smoke that?” she asks, pointing to the cigarette in his hand.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

He doesn’t answer; instead, he smiles and kisses her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his body. Her hands move to wrap around the back of his neck.

“How was Yale?” he murmurs when they finally pull away.

“Ugh.” She rests her forehead on his shoulder in frustration.

“That fun, huh?”

“Grandpa set up an interview with the Dean and I wasn’t prepared at  _ all _ .”

“Yikes.”

“Tell me about it,” she sighs. “But I don’t want to even  _ think  _ about college for the next forty-eight hours. How was  _ your _ day?”

“Oh you know, the usual. Diner. Watched Kirk mope about his loss. He can’t seem to let it go.”

“Probably doesn’t help that Mom is rubbing it in taking the trophy with her everywhere.”

“Yeah, tell her to knock that off. Kirk’s pity party was funny at first, but if I hear that man sob one more time…”

“You’ll do what?”

“Horrible, unspeakable things.” He smiles at her and kisses her again, slipping the cigarette back into his pocket.

-

Thanksgiving arrives, and somehow Rory and Lorelai have found themselves attending not one, not two, not even three, but four Thanksgiving dinners.  _ Four.  _ (“This is our finest hour!” Lorelai had exclaimed. “Or final hour,” Rory had countered).

The first stop on their list is Lane’s, but they make a pit stop at Doose’s first. Lorelai heads inside for cranberry sauce and Tums, and Rory looks at the flower selection outside.

“Hey there,” Jess says, sneaking up behind her, and Rory barely has time to say anything back before she’s caught up in a kiss.

“Gee, if I had known the flower section of the grocery store had such perks, I might have taken up gardening a long time ago.”

“Your mom inside?”

“Yeah. Cranberry sauce for the Kims, Tums for us.”

“Tums for you two? That must be a lot of food.”

“Mom says we won’t need them, but I want to be sure.”

“Smart,” he states, kissing her again. “I gotta run some errands for Luke, and get back to the diner. I’ll see you later.”

“See ya,” she says, smiling as he walks away, then pays for the flowers.

“Rory and Jess, sitting in a tree,” Lorelai teases as she walks out a moment later.

“You could see us?”

“Well, you weren’t exactly hiding it,” Lorelai says. “Plus, large windows. Aw, pretty!”

Rory looks down at the flowers in her arms. “Yeah, they had a good selection today. Did you get everything?”

“And then some. Look.” Lorelai opens the bag up for Rory to peek inside.

“Chocolate turkeys!”

“I think they’ll add a festive air.”

“Definitely.”

“Come on, let’s go eat.”

“And eat and eat.”

“And eat and eat and eat.”

-

After greeting Mrs. Kim, the girls shed their jackets and walk further into the house, commenting on the singing, and Dave’s neat and tidy outfit.

Lane ushers them far away from everyone to explain the very messy, complicated situation regarding Dave, and the intricate plan that landed him a job playing guitar for Thanksgiving.

“Are you guys dating?” Lorelai asks.

“We’re laying the groundwork,” Lane says. “If she gets to know him before we date, and approves of him, we won’t have to hide anything!”

“Right! Except how you met.”

“And who he really is,” Rory adds.

“But, other than that, it’s completely fib-free,” Lane reasons. A moment later she fumbles for plastic cups as Mrs. Kim briskly comes back into the room.

“You’re taking tofurkey?” Rory whispers to her mother when they’re standing at the buffet-style food table.

“Mmhmm. And some extra napkins to slip the tofurkey into when no one is looking, and then toss them away,” Lorelai sing-songs.

“Very smart.”

They make their way to a corner of the room and watch as Lane and Dave make eyes at each other when Mrs. Kim isn’t looking. Rory wishes that Lane didn’t have to hide so much. But she seems happy in the moment, so Rory is happy, too.

-

“The best-laid plans.”

“Tell me about.”

“How do you feel?”

“I ate tofurkey!” Lorelai exclaims. “How do you  _ think _ I feel?”

“Tofurkier?”

“Drat that Mrs. Kim for not taking her eyes off me. It’s like she was anticipating my napkin maneuver.”

Their next stop of the day is Sookie and Jackson’s. Sookie is sitting at a picnic bench when they reach their front yard, but Jackson is nowhere to be found.

“Thank God civilization has arrived,” Sookie groans.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?! Do you not see what’s going on here?” Sookie points to a vat of boiling oil in the middle of her front yard and begins to go on and on about her expensive turkey and Jackson’s plan of deep-frying it.

_ Poor Sookie, _ Rory thinks as the woman in question seems to get more and more frantic with every word that comes out of her mouth. The words “Deep-fried turkey,” catch Rory’s attention.

The real kicker, however, is the Thunderdome entrance Jackson makes with the turkey. A large group of drunk men whoop and cheer as he lowers it into the vat, and Sookie hides her head in her hands.

“It’s like a death in the family,” she groans. And she’s even more worked up when she remembers her lack of control at the inn. Lorelai hands her a beer and tries to calm her down.

“Look, Sookie, just keep one of them in your hands and just try to enjoy it. I mean, it’s a story for the grandkids, right?”

“A horror story, maybe,”

“Aw, Sook, it’ll be okay.”

“Hopefully,” she says, taking a sip of the beer. “You guys better get going now. You’ve still got, what, two more dinners?”

“Yep,” Rory says dryly. “Pray for us, and we’ll pray for you.”

-

The diner is buzzing. Which isn’t that out of the ordinary, except Jess would have guessed that most people would rather be at home. But the same thing happened last year. Maybe seeing extended family for hours on end isn’t all it’s chalked up to be, and the most frustrated individuals need something to prevent themselves from exploding. 

Last year, Jess had hidden in the apartment until Luke had practically dragged him by the ear downstairs, and then he worked. After the diner closed, Luke had presented him with a makeshift formal dinner. Jess had been taken aback. He hadn’t had a Thanksgiving dinner in… well, maybe ever. Not a traditional one, anyway. 

This year, Jess woke at a reasonable- though late for Luke’s standards- time and was serving plates of food without question. 

It’s hard to ignore the obvious. He’s changed. He fixes the toaster every few months when it inevitably breaks and doesn’t take credit for it. He snaps at Luke still, but tries to make up for it by doing tasks, picking up slack. There are other things that’ll likely sneak up on him. He doesn’t exactly notice the changes until they makes themselves evident in his words or actions. And he doesn’t hate it. Not at all. He came to Stars Hollow angry and brooding. Now, he’s… still both, but far less so. 

These days, Jess Mariano is the type of person who willingly goes out to celebrate a  _ one-month  _ anniversary. Granted, that was more of a flimsy excuse for Rory wanting to celebrate his birthday, and him going along with it to please her- they don’t do the monthly thing anymore. But still. He  _ wanted _ to  _ please _ her. 

It would be romantic and heartwarming to pin this change on his relationship with Rory, but Jess is a realist, and knows this is not the case. Luke is the reason. His uncle has tried to steer him in the right direction, teaching him manners and values, and in his own, grumpy way, caring for him. For whatever reason, Luke persisted, and continues to do so. Jess knows he should voice his gratitude. He doesn’t, of course. But he thinks it's a step in the right direction to be able to acknowledge these things.

So, he won’t tell his uncle. But he’ll help him with the Thanksgiving rush. 

-

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Luke greets them at the door. “What’s this?”

“Flowers,” Rory says.

“What do I do with them?”

“Ugh!” Lorelai exclaims. “Not this again.”

“Put them in a vase with water,” Rory adds.

Luke scoffs. “I don’t have a vase.”

“You do this every year!”

“I don’t have vases.”

“Buy a vase!”

“But I don’t need a vase because I never have flowers.”

“Except when we bring you flowers every year at Thanksgiving! Buy a vase.”

“Stop bringing me flowers,” they both say at the same time, and then Lorelai continues with, “See, I knew you were gonna say that because you say the same thing. We have the same exact conversation every year.”

“And every year you point that out.”

They keep going on, mocking each other, and Rory moves from her awkward spot between them, saying, “And then every year we put the flowers on the counter and forget the ugliness ever happened.”

“At least we have a tradition.”

Luke point to the table he saved for them, and on the way over, Lorelai gasps at Kirk’s scratched up face, courtesy of Cat Kirk. 

“Hey,” Rory says once she gets to their table, finding Jess there with a coffee pot. He sets it down on the counter and then comes back, giving her a lingering kiss.

“Hey to you too,” he replies.

“Are you eating with us?”

“I guess. If that’s alright.” It’s more directed to Lorelai, which takes her a moment to realize.

“Oh! Uh, yeah. Of course. Four seats, after all.”

Jess nods and awkwardly sits down in the chair next to Rory’s. Not for long, though, because soon after they begin to eat, Luke jumps up to grab marshmallows for the yams and asks Jess to finish refilling everyone’s coffee mugs.

Once they’re gone, Lorelai leans in conspiratorially, loudly whispering, “Hey, nice kiss.”

Rory’s jaw almost drops. “What?”

“You heard me. Keep in mind the rest of us will be trying to eat, though.”

“Hey! Mind your business!”

“Kind of hard to when it’s right in front of me.”

Rory flushes. “Is everyone watching us then?”

Lorelai’s face softens. “Oh, hon, I’m sure they aren’t. I’m your mom, though. I’m  _ supposed _ to watch you. Everyone else is probably, as you put it, ‘minding their business.’”

That doesn’t soothe Rory for very long, because right before she and Morey leave, Babette makes a comment on it as well, which leaves Rory a blushing mess, glancing anxiously around the counter. Lorelai offers a sympathetic look.

“Okay, well, that’s Babette. She doesn’t count as the grand majority because she’s… special.”

“And loud!”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“It’s embarrassing. I mean, I didn’t even think about the whole town seeing us.”

“Well, try not to,” Lorelai says. “Seriously. It’s not the 17th century, you can kiss your boyfriend. But, again, not during eating time, please.”

Rory honestly doesn’t know how to respond, but never gets the chance to, because both Luke and Jess return. She grabs a handful of marshmallows and smushes them into the yams with her fork, watching them slowly melt from the heat of the food.

“Geez, what did the marshmallows do to you,” Jess says quietly. She looks up at him, and then across the table; Luke and Lorelai are engrossed in their own conversation. 

“It’s good this way. Put some on.”

“I’ve never had yams and marshmallows. Are you sure this isn’t a weird Gilmore thing?”

“No, it’s not just us. I swear, it’s good. Besides, Luke would have protested at least a little bit if it wasn't at least somewhat normal.”

He gives in and puts a few marshmallows on top. “Okay. I admit. It’s good.”

“Ha! If you have leftovers, put them on and stick it all in the microwave. They’re way better fully melted.

“Noted.”

-

Dinner at the edler Gilmore’s is predictably stuffy and awkward, but not downright terrible. Lorelai makes an inappropriate joke in French, to the horror of Emily and Richard, but as it turns out, their guests seem have a sense of humor.

Although, there is a point, during the actual meal, in which Rory feels exceptionally uncomfortable. One of the couples starts asking about college, or more like colleges. Plural. Which catches Rory off guard, and so she blurts that she did in fact apply to Yale, along with other colleges besides Harvard. This wouldn’t have been so terrible, if Rory had mentioned it to Lorelai beforehand.

Lorelai assures her, as they walk down a street in town, that she’s not mad, but Rory is only half convinced, even after a patented Lorelai Gilmore speech on the topic. She leaves it be, though, because there are more distracting things at the moment; namely, a very drunk Sookie.

Rory’s pager goes off with a message from Lane. “Bible kiss bible?” she reads, confused. 

“What does that mean?” Lorelai asks.

“No idea.”

Lorelai tells Sookie that they have to get going, followed by a request for her to go to bed  _ very  _ soon, and then they’re off again in the direction of Luke’s.

Jess is grumbling about trash cans, or lack thereof, when they get there. Lorelai and Luke head inside, but Rory is hesitant, torn between following them and going after Jess. Briefly, she is self-conscious, thinking about her mother’s comment, and Babette’s comment, too. But she pushes it down, deciding that she can kiss her boyfriend if she so chooses. 

So she does, for a long time, and it feels good. Her worries from earlier are gone. There’s probably nobody watching at this time of day anyway, and even if there are, who cares? She didn’t before, and she won’t now.  Rory decides she likes this new part of her, the part that’s becoming more comfortable in her own skin and her more sure in her own decisions/

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Later,” she says, teasingly, running back into the diner, leaving him winded and slightly confused.

Inside, Luke and Lorelai are still bickering, so she slips in between them and grabs two rolls and heads back outside to give one to Jess. He’s not on the sidewalk anymore, so she goes to find him near the dumpsters.

When she gets there, though, she hears two voices. She peaks around the corner and sees Dean near him, and Jess seemingly trying to deflect everything he’s saying. She sucks in her breath, hoping neither of them will swing.

She can’t quite hear what either of them are saying, but she thinks it's safe to say they aren’t having a friendly chat. She can’t believe this. This isn’t Dean. Is it?  _ Obviously _ , she thinks to herself. If Jess had started it, he wouldn’t be trying so desperately to get rid of Dean. Besides, Jess hasn’t really done anything to deserve her distrust on this matter, and with the evidence right in front of her, it’s really hard to not point fingers at the obvious culprit.

Finally, Dean lets up and walks away, and she hurries back to the diner, not wanting to get caught eavesdropping. She’s not sure what to do. She looks down at the rolls in her hands, and quickly tosses them into the trash- there are holes in them from where she had dug her fingers in.

When Jess comes back, he looks a little shaken, and pretty annoyed, but he doesn’t say anything. In fact, all he does is offer her a roll. Rory could laugh, or cry. Maybe both. But she doesn’t. Instead, she accepts it. Jess clearly isn’t going to bring it up, and Rory feels the tingle of admiration ripple through her because of it. She’s not sure if pretending she didn’t see anything is the right choice, but she’s also not sure if the other choice is any better at the moment. After all, he seems calmer now, sitting at the counter next to her. She doesn’t want to ruin that. So she lets it go for tonight, and doesn’t bring it up. 

She won’t forget it, though. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh? Eh?  
> Some recognizable dialogue from Season 3, episodes 8 and 9. Some is changed, others are directly from the show. Trying to get away from the shows dialogue, though, because the more things change, well, the more things change. Also, having to copy down everything they say in the show is super annoying. But mostly the first thing.  
> All reviews are welcomed (and encouraged!!!).


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